Tracy & Martina: East Coasters Gone West

0:08  
Well, gracious, good day. Welcome to the Jann  Arden podcast. As usual, I'm here with Caitlin Green, Sarah Burke. They are respectively in their Toronto homes. I am still in Spring Bank, Alberta. People often refer to where I live as Sperm Bank, Alberta, but that's fine. I can take it today on the podcast. I'm so excited. We are joined by two women who are either Canada's next great comedy icons or moments away from being permanently banned from Air Canada. You may know them from their hit podcast, Shootin' the Shit. I love that, but now they have a brand new, fantastic frickin series called Going Out West, which follows the girls as they head to Alberta. God knows why, I don't know why, but they are, and they're chasing their dreams of making some quick cash, opening for a band. I wish they were opening for me, and only to end up stranded, broke, fighting with each other and relying on the kindness of strangers to hopefully, hopefully get back home again, and I don't blame them. So it's basically planes, trains, and automobiles was so, so much more, more nuances, more hilarity. If everybody had fake nails and a maxed out credit card, yes, it would be the reboot of planes, trains, and automobiles, they are going to premiere at the Inside Out Two SLGP TQ Plus Film Festival this week, and the film will be streaming on Crave later this year. Without further ado, Jesus, we only have two minutes left for the freaking podcast. Please welcome Tracy and Martina.

1:37  
Yeah, I'll show the thing, Charlie One High. Hi, Saxies Tracy, why? home.

1:43  
Oh, it's Tracy, and

1:44  
I'm your girl, Martina. Hi, Jann . Hi, Caitlin. Hi, Sarah. How are you?

1:48  
So happy to be here.

1:49  
Oh, my gosh, we're so in my

1:51  
TikTok for ages now, eh?

1:53  
I have been, and I try and lay down some comments, like, whenever the urge strikes me, I try and sound, you know, in command, and oh, you're good

2:03  
for the engagement girl.

2:04  
I appreciate that. Okay. Good.

2:07  
Tell me about your trip out to Alberta. How did you feel about it? Were you scared?

2:11  
That was a dream.

2:12  
It was. We were just winging it, though, like we had no plan.

2:14  
No, you know, like you live in Cape Breton, you live in the East Coast, and you hear about Alberta. It's like the place where dreams come true, Rose. Everyone just goes out there. Is that what

2:24  
you're hearing?

2:25  
Oh yeah, just like buckets of money. Everyone's working on camp in the oil jobs, and it's like they come home, they get their trucks, and I think that's kind of what me and Tracy were expecting to do, Rose. And it didn't really work out like that. You'll have to watch the movie to really see, but yeah.

2:41  
Oh, I'm going to be watching that damn movie, Crave. We're all going to be watching that movie. What surprised you about your trek across this great country of ours? What was anything surprised you about Canada?

2:55  
Oh, it's massive.

2:56  
It is massive. It's almost like a bunch of different countries in one country, because where we come from, the culture is so much different, right?

3:04  
Yeah, completely different. But there, oh my god, there's more people from Atlantic Canada and Alberta than that in Atlantic Canada.

3:11  
That's true.

3:12  
Couldn't believe it. Fort McMurray is like the capital of Cape Breton.

3:15  
It really is, you know. You're very hard to slip up. You guys don't slip up, which I love about you guys. Tell me about getting ready on the road. Now, did you stay in any hotels or motels? Did you just fly the whole way out here, or were you driving a little bit, a little bit of busses, taxis, Lyfts, the Ubers? How did you get out here? Oh, yeah, we tried Uber for the first time. Yeah, that was

3:38  
crazy. As

3:39  
far as getting ready, like, we're pretty efficient. Yeah,

3:42  
I pretty much got ready at home, and then doing touch-ups along the way. Yeah, and then just we stayed in. We ended up staying in hotels because it was supposed to be staying with cousins, because I have cousins all over Alberta, but none of them

3:54  
get me. Don't get

3:54  
us going on that, but they stopped answering the messages on Facebook, so we ended up getting hotels. And then I just get in the tub, I leave my head dry, so I don't have to do the makeup over and over again, and then, because we're only there for three or four days, a

4:08  
lot of dry shampoo, yeah.

4:09  
Oh my god, yeah, it's fine.

4:10  
And I love that you have tips like that for our listeners, because I'm going to start doing that, you know? If I have a string of shows, I don't even know why I've been getting my head wet.

4:20  
Yeah, horse bath, the

4:23  
horse bath

4:26  
cloth over yourself, Jann , that's all you got to do, just run a face

4:30  
cloth

4:30  
right over your face, and just know the

4:33  
parts, you know what I mean,

4:34  
I see run out, run out, just doing the triangle, triangular bits,

4:39  
yes, I call them the hot spots.

4:41  
Yes,

4:42  
and you would be right,

4:44  
danger zones. Yeah, and then I do include my feet,

4:47  
yeah.

4:48  
And that's nice. I think that's great to keep the salty dogs in check. Listen, I'm gonna throw it over to Caitlin. Maybe we can catch her in between her fire alarm going off in her building.

4:58  
Yeah, if you don't hear me maniacally laughing, then. Just because of that, muting my microphone, I want to know if you guys met any Alberta men while you were out there. We were trying, I

5:07  
met a couple, yeah, we were trying. Yeah,

5:11  
they were somebody, somebody invited Tracy to go shoot guns. Yes, they

5:15  
did. That feels very Alberta. I still got their number. That's a woman, though.

5:19  
Oh,

5:20  
wasn't it was a woman, yeah.

5:21  
Okay, not

5:21  
surprising, not surprising. What are the differences that you notice between the Alberta men and, like, men out east?

5:28  
Well, they're working, they got money, yeah, that's a big

5:30  
one. Yeah, you kind of need that, yeah.

5:32  
Other than that, I would say they're pretty much the exact same. I mean, something changes when you are working, like

5:39  
mentally,

5:39  
bus,

5:40  
yeah. What is that? Do you think

5:42  
I think once you get the truck, then you start to feel a little bit more proud. Now,

5:47  
I was wondering if you ever pictured yourselves moving out to Alberta permanently, like you know.

5:52  
No.

5:53  
Well, I have to ask you, that background behind you, is that built into Zoom, or is that actually your house? Because it's beautiful.

5:59  
It actually is my house where I'm sitting at my kitchen island, and yeah, I wanted a lot of windows, which I regret. I regret,

6:08  
we got to get

6:09  
there's an Airbnb. No, that's fine. I've thought about Airbnb this. I thought about just staying out in the garden shed with the shovels and the rakes. I can get a Juno,

6:19  
so

6:20  
well, I would take those with me. Yeah, and I would just put, like, an Andy mattress. Feel free to sponsor us, Andy. I'd put an Andy mattress out there, and, and just rent this out, maybe get a few 100 night, you know? Do

6:31  
you travel like you

6:32  
knows? I do not. They're sitting on a piano that I don't know how to play.

6:37  
Okay.

6:38  
Wow, all this time,

6:40  
Caitlin, there's, there's some great questions you've written down here, so I want to go over to you, because this, there's some quick fire stuff here that we can do with some of these questions. Okay,

6:49  
yeah, okay, so some of the like rapid fire stuff, what is what's your Tim Hortons order, and what do you think that reveals about you as a person? This is an important Canadian, a question

6:58  
that depends on the time of the year for me. Do you go first? Charge,

7:01  
I get the farmer's wrap, Boston cream, and I do a double double

7:05  
for a long

7:06  
sausage.

7:06  
For a long time, I was hooked on the extra large ice cap with a pump of haze. Oh, that's a good

7:10  
one.

7:11  
Yeah, and I mean, I miss the old treats, I missed the lemon tarts, I missed the butter tarts.

7:17  
Remember when they don't have those anymore?

7:19  
I know coffee cake,

7:20  
they used to have cakes, nice cakes.

7:22  
Yeah,

7:23  
bring back the lemon tart. Damn, I know. Bring back the lemon, the walnut crunch. Maybe after they hear this, they will walnut crunch. Yes. Hello, a duchy. Do they still have those? I actually don't know.

7:33  
They don't need to be doing all that, that's the thing. No, like they got a Ryan Reynolds scrambled egg bowl. It's like, what the fuck is

7:39  
that? I'm not waking up in the morning, yawning, and reaching for my Ryan Reynolds scrambled egg ball.

7:45  
Come on,

7:45  
like

7:46  
coffee and donuts.

7:48  
I would buy a Tracy and Martina some kind of a Timbit. Nice

7:54  
cap,

7:55  
you know? I would definitely, if you guys had a branded box of 20 Tim bits, Tracy and Martina with nice eyelashes on the box, and you open.. oh my

8:06  
gosh,

8:08  
you know,

8:08  
you should try to get that on the go.

8:10  
That wouldn't be.. well, now that Jann  said, "It's sure Tim Hortons himself probably follows Jann . We're pitching all of

8:15  
this to Tim Horton.

8:16  
I know it's true,

8:17  
we're pitching it all. I think if there's anyone that can do it, it's. it's the five of us together.

8:23  
Okay. My other quick question was, after doing this adventure across Canada, sort of like it reminds me of, like, the Amazing Race. Which one of you do you think would survive longest on a reality show?

8:36  
Probably me.

8:37  
Do you think so? Charles, yeah. Wise ass.

8:40  
Well, especially Amazing Grace. I'm better with directions than you would find.

8:43  
Yeah, I can lie though. I'm better at lying

8:46  
more clumsy too.

8:48  
Yeah. Oh, Amazing Grace. I'm thinking like Big Brother and all that. Yeah,

8:51  
yeah. Who would survive?

8:52  
I think I'd do good on the trade. You

8:54  
think you'd be better at traders? Yeah, you would. I

8:56  
think I'd do good on traders or

8:57  
Survivor, because you're always paying outside,

9:00  
not survivor, no, because they're not allowed to bring makeup or nothing. Oh, that's true. Yeah, an orange or

9:06  
nothing. I bet you guys could make it work with natural stuff. I bet you could use the charcoal from a campfire, get a little of that deep, you know, smoky eye going, and there's always, yeah, there's berries this time of year. Listen, I'm gonna pitch you an idea right now. Tracy and Martina, Tracy and Martinez' big sister, like instead of big brother, instead of big brother. I could be your big sister, I could be your crazy aunt. I'm substantially older than the program,

9:35  
like a social program,

9:37  
like how, like big brothers, big sisters type thing. Is that what you mean, Jann ?

9:40  
I wasn't going down there, I was kind of going on an offshoot of the Big Brother show, like the reality show. Yeah, okay, you know, because the man, why, why Big Brother, why not Big Sister? Have a bunch of broads in a house, Steelers, and

9:54  
all that.

9:55  
Yes, so would we be the hosts?

9:58  
Yes, yeah, you guys could be the hosts that you could. Have them in like a bunch of like tiny homes, maybe out in Cape Breton, and then have like cast what about there,

10:06  
yeah? Or we could do like love is blind, naked, and afraid together,

10:09  
yeah, yeah. I would love

10:12  
that. Finally, something I, because the people don't have time to watch all of them, they have to pick one, so why not do a combo? Which one of you is better with money, Tracy or Martina?

10:24  
Neither.

10:25  
Yeah, we're terrible with money. Yeah, see,

10:27  
I have a credit card. It's just a $250 limit, like Canadian Tire Mastercard, that's max. Like, there's no room on that.

10:34  
I went deflections. It's crazy.

10:37  
Yeah,

10:37  
they're just actually

10:38  
Tracy just found out, so her credit score was around 400 and I was like, that's awesome, Tracy, because I didn't know it, I didn't know it went up over 100 because mine's shot, and I thought it was kind of like a percentage, and here it goes up way over like 400 must be awesome, this

10:56  
was like 89 or something, yeah,

10:58  
it's getting up, yeah,

11:00  
if that was a baseball stat, you'd be smoking on fire with a 400 batting average.

11:05  
Okay.

11:05  
Yeah, you girls spend things positive all the time, always awesome. Thank

11:10  
you. Do you guys like fancy watching sports, watching the fellas in sports, whether it's the Blue Jays?

11:16  
I've been following the hockey games, okay? I'm the Montreal Canadiens girl.

11:21  
Me too.

11:23  
Sarah, the least fan on the podcast is, if you're watching us on YouTube, giving it stinky face. No, thank you.

11:31  
Um, no, yeah, it's, it's fun. I actually went to my first Blue Jays game a couple summers ago, and I really enjoyed it. I watched the people the whole time, watch people the whole time.

11:40  
Did I watch? We're in Toronto right now for the very first time, because we made the movie, and there's a whole company that's like distributing it, distributing the movie, yeah, game theory, yeah, they're passing along, probably making money off this, I'm not sure, and they have us in Toronto, and oh my god, I'm terrified, there was a Blue Jays game last night, and people were just roaming the streets, right rowdy, I said, Tracy, I'm not going out there. We were starving. I said, I'm not going out on the streets.

12:06  
No. Why

12:06  
would you? The reluctance of your good-looking women, your people.

12:11  
I was just nervous. Yeah, no, strange

12:13  
people

12:14  
were from Small Town Rice. Like,

12:16  
yeah, I'm just curious, as a Torontonian, what part of Toronto you're saying? I'm

12:20  
not sure.

12:21  
I'm looking at a lake right now, so

12:22  
yeah, there's there's buildings all around us. There's how that's Lake Ontario. That's

12:28  
great. So I'm guessing you're somewhere downtown, and because you're part of your movie as part of the Inside Out Film Festival, do you think you'll have a chance to go over to, like, the gay village? Because we're coming up on Pride, so do you think you'll like go over to Church Street or anything?

12:40  
I'd be nervous, Tracy.

12:41  
Yeah,

12:42  
the rowdy, we have a gay friend, and he's rowdy.

12:47  
I think that they.. I think we know he might pick up some good, like, hair and makeup tips and stuff, though. Well, you're over there. No, okay.

12:54  
That's from them. You really don't.

12:55  
You look, you look fantastic.

12:56  
Here's the thing, if I'm going out, it's usually to meet men, and I just doing there. What are we doing in the gay village?

13:04  
Right,

13:04  
that is very fair, and it's a good point. And I think you know you're young women, you have a bright future ahead of you. Now, do you think it would be tough for one of you guys to meet a nice fella and the other one didn't? And would it split up the group? Like, no

13:19  
happened before. We always prioritize each other, yeah. How is before brows? Jann , Jann  always

13:27  
says that Jann  says, said that for as long as I've known her. Riley has,

13:31  
yeah, you know, if I've said that, I'm gonna own it. Are you excited about them?

13:36  
She's been trying to ask us a question. Martin, you keep cutting around.

13:41  
I don't want your people to be coming to us here at the Jann  Arden Pod, me and Caitlin and Sarah, and say you didn't focus enough on that movie, and we're here to promote the movie, and so we want to know about the movie. Like, were you excited when you said Tracy Martina, we'd like to make a movie about you too? We love your, we love your show. Never

14:00  
happened. No, that never happened. We picked up a camera. There's a little buddy in town, his name's Moose. He shoots everything around town, right? And we said, would you want to come to Alberta with us?

14:11  
Most come say hi,

14:13  
see if we can wait. Um, social media content, right? And then it just kind of turned into a movie.

14:18  
That's Jann  Arden there. She, her songs are on the radio.

14:22  
Hello, not anymore,

14:23  
not anymore. But they are

14:25  
94 Not in the way pumps your songs constantly. Can't escape it. They're paying for that chandelier.

14:33  
I got that on sale at the Lighting Warehouse. I never turn it on because half of it doesn't work, but that's okay. That's another bill too. No, it killed my bar. I'm just.. I'm sitting here in the dark, actually. I can't.. I've got the house, but there's no power running into it. How do you feel when there's like

14:50  
a camera following you around? Do you find that you're the same people, or is there like a little bit of pressure? Well, like I said in the movie, I don't get much joy out of life unless I got a camera. On me, right?

15:00  
Yeah. What's the use if no one's watching? What's the

15:04  
use? Yeah,

15:05  
that's kind of

15:06  
this for a long time too. We've been making videos for like 12 years now.

15:09  
Yeah, we started on YouTube 12 years ago,

15:12  
so we're used to the camera.

15:13  
Yeah,

15:13  
did you guys get into any fights while you were doing this, like filming this together? Because sometimes when you go on like a girls trip, I know that when I go on a girls trip, like someone always fights. Did that happen to you guys? Yeah. Okay.

15:24  
Yes. Because she said I'm gonna handle the money, I'm gonna handle all the cash when we're selling merchandise and all that at shows. And here she was, just pocket. No, I wasn't packing it. Pocket in it.

15:35  
You thought I was just packing in the chart. See,

15:37  
but it turns out I had a special compartment in my jacket

15:41  
when she's drinking rum, she's very aggressive, and a little bit of that happens.

15:48  
Okay,

15:49  
and you know what, though, that doesn't just happen in Alberta, that's all the time.

15:53  
What do you mean? Yeah,

15:54  
yeah,

15:55  
no, it's not.

15:55  
If you're on the wrong right

15:57  
now,

15:58  
it, I'm just saying, has nothing to do with the girl strip, it's just usually the Captain Morgan gets to her head.

16:03  
It does.

16:03  
You were saying that when you're out east, like, all the everyone goes out west to get a job, and that that was the big difference, that everyone out there seemed like they had a little bit more money. What was, like, the most rich person thing you saw while you were traveling out west?

16:16  
Some guy bought me three dricks at once. Yeah, that

16:20  
you might want to watch out for that, because that, that's motivated by someone who doesn't have the greatest intentions. Theresa, no, he was

16:29  
a sweetheart, he was 75 cheer, he was a sweet man.

16:34  
No, I get that,

16:37  
Donald was his name. Don't be saying that.

16:39  
Shout out, Donald.

16:40  
Well, you know, I care about you and your personal safety, and you know it's my province. God forbid anything should ever happen to you here. I don't know if you've heard, but Alberta is trying to themselves right out of Canada, and I

17:02  
heard that,

17:04  
and I don't have a passport, so

17:06  
no, why they wouldn't do that now.

17:10  
I don't know.

17:11  
Well, I, you know, part of me feels like it's, it's just silliness, and but you're right. Do you want to get a passport? Are you interested in maybe go into Europe sometimes. It's just

17:22  
one more thing to handle. I

17:23  
can't go in Europe. Windows

17:26  
not trying to get shots.

17:27  
No, I don't think you're gonna get shot going to Europe. I just was in Europe, and it's relatively.. I think that the worst thing that could happen to you is maybe get hit by a bike. They ride a lot of bikes over there. Yeah, just drive.

17:39  
Do you know what I mean? Just drive.

17:40  
Just drive.

17:41  
Now that you guys are done with the movie, and you're kind of like in promo mode, what are you sort of most excited from the movie for audiences to see?

17:49  
I'm excited for them to see what Cape Breton's like. Yeah, it's like, yeah, like a lot of it were in Alberta, but I would say the other half of it were

17:58  
showing our communities.

17:59  
We're just fucking around in Cape Breton, yeah, and like we go through the Tim Hortons drive-through and say hi to people. We visit an older fellow that we know, we go down the dock pond, and it's just nice to really show the community on the big screen,

18:13  
and that's going to be on Craig. Imagine, yeah,

18:15  
that's so cool. Also, like, what do you? Because I mean, I have my dad's from PEI, my husband's from Nova Scotia. What do you guys think that some people from, like, the rest of Canada don't get about Cape Breton? Because I feel like there's a lot misunderstood about out east in general.

18:30  
What don't they get about Cape Breton? We got our own thing going on.

18:35  
Yeah, I

18:36  
really do.

18:36  
There's something they're not getting, because when they're, they're coming and they're visiting, they're not friendly.

18:41  
Okay,

18:42  
no, you're not friendly.

18:43  
No, there's just something not clicking.

18:46  
I've been saying for ages that Cape Breton should be its own province, because when people ask me, 'Where are you from? I never say nobles. That's true. Actually, different.

18:54  
It's different.

18:55  
We got a completely different culture going on up there,

18:58  
and you guys have, like, a really fancy golf course now, too. So, like, people with, like, quite people with a lot of money do go to Cape Breton. I just, I feel like they just go golfing, and then they take off.

19:06  
We don't see none of that, Caitlyn.

19:08  
No,

19:08  
there's no trickle-down effect. That's a candidate.

19:11  
Okay.

19:12  
Yes. Now you're women of a certain age. Now we have a lot of female viewers, a lot of.. we have fellows too. How's the menopause going?

19:22  
Oh, we're not there. You're not

19:24  
there. You're not even close to being there. You're not getting any hot. I was just saying menopause, you get hot, your hair falls out. I'm

19:33  
still shaving.

19:35  
Yeah, well, I know that that's good. I don't know if it affects the hot spot areas, but you know, you, you, some, some women talk about their hips aching, fatigue,

19:49  
and

19:49  
just mood swings that are worse than having your period. We don't like to talk about that on here, but you know, but I was just wondering, you know, if you had, if you had any of those things. No, but you don't, but. You're far too young for them, and I should know better. I should really

20:03  
think we are.

20:04  
Yeah, honestly,

20:05  
Jesus Christ.

20:06  
Well, no, I was thinking third 30s. Are

20:09  
you saying menopause?

20:10  
Yeah,

20:12  
there's a lot of women that started off, they go into it early, you know, they start having symptoms at 3130 perimeter. There's weird things going on, yeah. Perry, yeah,

20:21  
that's the Perry

20:22  
metadata, that's the new big thing.

20:24  
I wonder if stress would be a factor.

20:27  
Yep,

20:28  
kick it off early, you're really stressed, your kids stress you out.

20:33  
How many kids you had?

20:34  
And she'd be going into it before. I

20:35  
got two children, and then I got three Rottweilers that are kind of like my babies too. I got ferrets.

20:40  
We got ferrets. Oh, and how many ferrets you have?

20:45  
Little fur snakes, say that's what I call them. My fur snakes. I got two

20:50  
ferrets.

20:51  
I got three Rottweilers, two kids old, Nemo and Osiris. They're home right now. I just, I let them run around the house, and I left a bunch of food, so I'll be going back to a mess.

21:01  
You don't even have anyone stop by and look after them.

21:04  
No, they're good. They're good dripping up through the wall.

21:09  
Yeah,

21:09  
and they sleep in the fiberglass in the wall.

21:13  
Oh God, that easy fix. Really,

21:15  
it's like a built-in tube system for them. It's awesome. Yeah, they love

21:19  
us. Yeah, I unplug everything from the walls. Hey,

21:21  
yes.

21:22  
Oh, you're not chewing chords.

21:24  
Yeah, I have a question

21:25  
about your live shows, because we've done some live shows, like we've done some live podcasts, and you guys have had a ton of live shows, and they've been a big hit. I wanted to do one. Yeah, what do you like most about your live shows? And for anyone who hasn't been to one and sort of doesn't know your podcast, what can they expect coming to, like, a Tracy and Martina show?

21:42  
Well,

21:43  
bit of everything. Hey, we do like story time, we get people up on stage with us.

21:48  
But my favorite

21:49  
part of the live shows is actually like getting to meet,

21:51  
getting to meet people. Oh my god, we started doing meet and greets, pre-drinking is what it is. They just come and have a drink with us before the show, and that's probably my favorite part, because we get to hear all of their sad stories and their happy stories, and get a picture with them, and yeah, and we're going back out on tour.

22:08  
Oh, okay. Oh,

22:09  
yeah, we got a whole whack of dates that we just announced. We'll put those in the show notes. Yeah, just for laughs in Montreal.

22:17  
Amazing, that's a big, that's, that's huge, that's freaking huge.

22:22  
Yeah,

22:22  
not worried.

22:23  
I am. I got Duolingo on my phone. What am I supposed to do in Montreal? Tracy Bonjour,

22:29  
Montreal's pretty angle, I think. You'll be safe, and Tracy, you might be able to go to a hockey game or something. I don't know, maybe get some like Canadian swag, price of

22:37  
that,

22:37  
maybe. Yeah,

22:38  
imagine

22:39  
Teemu got tons of it, though. I get everything from, okay?

22:41  
Do you do any shopping at Costco? Do you have a Costco in Cape Breton that you like to go to? Because we're trying to get better to sponsor us as well.

22:48  
They've been talking about getting to Costco in Cape Breton for how long, Tracy? Oh, they don't have worse. It's the carrot on the string at this point. Yeah,

22:55  
really, is it's about a five hour drive to the nearest Costco for us, but

22:59  
so if someone's going like

23:00  
a weekend trip, sometimes. Yeah, Costco, it's so overstimulating. Do you find you get overwhelmed in Costco?

23:06  
Oh, like four or five hours in there, just to let my senses kind of.. that's

23:09  
long. That is long in Costco. You want to get in, get

23:14  
they do, they do,

23:16  
they do.

23:17  
Yeah,

23:18  
if you left at seven in the morning, what did that get you in around 11am And just, it's lunchtime. My dad used to do that. He'd always start with the sweet stuff. He was no fool. He knew his time on the planet was limited. He's like, I probably got another 12 months on this planet. He always started with the sweet stuff.

23:38  
There you go.

23:39  
Smart.

23:39  
You guys are an inspiration, you really are. You're just.. I love.. we talk about friendship on this show. What's the greatest part about friendship for you two?

23:48  
I think just being able to share this crazy journey that we call life together. Ag,

23:52  
yeah,

23:53  
short and sweet. They just.. they don't pontificate,

23:56  
and like, getting famous together has been crazy. Getting famous

23:59  
together has been really cool. Yeah,

24:00  
getting famous together, and has that been a big part of your motivation? Is fame?

24:05  
Oh, yeah, yeah,

24:06  
it's a big fan. I love your honesty. Famous,

24:08  
yeah, that's pretty much.. we're not even really concerned about the money, apparently. It's going to come, not seeing much of it right now.

24:16  
No,

24:16  
not seeing much of it right now, but we do get recognized if we go to Walmart or something in Sydney. People say hello, Martin. You know, I like your videos. When

24:24  
we do, when we do, we talk, they'll give us a bottle of wine or something.

24:27  
Oh, do you think so?

24:27  
Yeah,

24:29  
I quit drinking, and I've got 400 bottles of wine in my basement, and I should send them up to you guys. They're about 1617 years old. I don't think they're drinkable, but might you might not even care.

24:40  
I'll mix this.

24:41  
Yeah, yeah,

24:42  
something that caught it was something that's the thing. Yes, biggest, biggest fight you've ever had is is something that you really didn't focus on a lot. Did we skip over that? Because there's.. we talked

24:56  
about the fights. It's here's the thing, it wasn't that. Big for us, like we're always bicker and getting a little screaming matches with each other, like it's not a big deal for us to be arguing, because we know that, like, we've been friends for that long, we're not gonna like stop being friends, no. So if somebody sees the movie and sees us fighting, they might get right stressed out, Jann e. But honestly, God, it takes more than that.

25:20  
Talking about, though, she's talking about the money, or she's talking about the Glace Bay and Waterford thing.

25:23  
Oh, that's Churchill. Yeah, that well, that's like a long-standing look town rivalry, but that's different. Yeah,

25:30  
how do your families feel about this sudden climb into celebrity? Because that must be pretty.

25:37  
Miles couldn't give a shit. She's like, "Are you making money?

25:40  
Yeah,

25:41  
yeah,

25:41  
like, yeah, like, I cover my rent. What do you want? Like,

25:45  
well, she's looking, she's looking to borrow money,

25:48  
and Poppy don't know what's going on, he's half foolish in the head. So, I

25:52  
have a

25:52  
question about just because, like, yes, yeah, because you guys are now, you know, Jann  knows some people too, right? And you guys are getting, I do, getting a little bit famous now that you've spoken to Jann , and I know you've had some other, like, big-name Canadians on your podcast who would still be on your wish list of, like, notable Canadians he'd love to talk to.

26:10  
You know, I want John is that that buddy from Shits Creek.

26:14  
Oh, Dan

26:15  
Levy. Oh, I think he's hilarious.

26:18  
Yeah, he's right funny. So, I'll send him a

26:21  
note. Would you?

26:23  
That I am. I'm going to send him a note once in a while. I'm not bragging or nothing. He'll send me, he'll send me a hard emoji on a comment I've made.

26:33  
Stop. It

26:34  
could be his people. I've never actually gotten words from him, but I have. He has hit the heart on something I've said, like way to go, Dan. Love what you do, ding

26:47  
that leverage, and see if we can get him on the

26:50  
Dan Levy. Do you know who my dream is? Shania Twain.

26:54  
I don't like her,

26:55  
even Michael Buble

26:58  
Jann .

26:58  
I don't like her.

27:00  
She likes horses. I don't know. These are gonna have beef now. I dressed up as hers for Halloween, I, and she shared it and said, "Love this. She, so that really smashed the heart too. Yeah,

27:11  
ding. Well, you know, maybe I need to, I need to reevaluate, because if she's good to you and if she's heart and you, then that makes my heart, that makes my heart feel good. And you know what, I'm gonna work. I'm gonna go on the path to forgiveness because of you, Martina. Shania, if Shania is heart and you, then I have to rethink this whole fucking thing. I know you guys don't have a ton of time today because you're there for the premiere of your brand new movie. Have you ever been kicked out of any place? Have you ever gone into somewhere and just like you two out

27:42  
crab fest, crab fest in Lewisburg. I can't go near the place. They see me coming, they say you're out.

27:49  
Rib fest, rib fest. Go, what we did before they set up on the grounds in the park. We dug a big hole and we buried an ice cream bucket filled with liquor, and so then once we got back in the grounds, we dug it up, took the ice cream bucket, started drinking from

28:04  
it. They only paid $12 for a beer, $12 for a beer. I said no.

28:08  
They're like, where did you get that, ladies? Said it's none of your business, anyways. We ended up getting kicked out of the rib festival.

28:16  
Do you know there's a lot of people that are going to appreciate these tips on a how to save money when you go into these festivals, you know something's coming through town. Two weeks, you get in there with a shovel and you bury some fucking liquor.

28:31  
We thought we were being smart, and we also buried some potato salad.

28:34  
Oh yeah, it

28:35  
turned.. Oh,

28:36  
it's the mayonnaise. Every goddamn..

28:39  
that's exactly what I said to her, Jann  Charles. He's like, "No, it's fine, it's in the earth, it's going to keep it cool. But you think, yeah,

28:46  
well, you can't win them all. You cannot win them all. But the.. I think people have learned a lot. Caitlin, what's your.. what are some of the things you've learned here today, like just things that you're going to try yourself or things that have been helpful for you? Well, I might steal Martinez, Tim Hortons order. Like, I kind of like the idea of the ice cap with a pump of hazelnut. I mean, I used to have to like sneak little airline Mickeys with me into like school dances, and my bra, that's how I would like sneak booze in. I never thought about burying an ice, because she has

29:15  
no boobs, so she had empty, exactly. So, nothing. I just get, yeah,

29:20  
like I'd go to Los Enza and get like a two for one bra, and then one I'd get was bigger, and then I could put like an airline Mickey in the bottom, and it would kind of be like your booze, you could bring it, and you'd get a lift, but I never thought of the ice cream bucket, so I'm gonna do the ice cream bucket.

29:33  
Tampons, you can open up the tampon package, and if you just get a little vial, almost like what you see in the science experiments, fill that liquor and put it inside, seal it up. No one's touching that's true. Security's not touching that,

29:46  
that they won't, because, especially, I mean, unless you get like a lady security guard, then maybe she might know the difference. But if you go to a line that's just men, they're just gonna say, "Leave me out of

29:55  
it. Nine times out of 10, I guess. See, this is another great

29:58  
tip. I would buy. Branded feminine protection from you two. If you guys had a line of feminine protection, I would.. I don't even have my period, but I'd start using like a Dizza Cup, just for the joy of this,

30:13  
just for the joy, just to feel

30:17  
something. I just,

30:18  
not real tampons, it's just a means to conceal alcohol. How about that?

30:29  
I quit drinking, you know, like I said quite some time ago, because you can imagine I was like a tornado. I was, I've been drunk in Cape Breton, actually, and found I met. Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry about that, but yeah, there's so many things. I don't know if you got managers, you too, or you got people thinking about, well, you know what, Jesus, I want to throw my hat in the ring there, because I can think so many branding ideas for you guys, just a line of T-shirts with your different sayings, and, and the bearing, the liquor, it's nice

31:01  
to dream, though. I just, that stuff will probably never happen.

31:04  
There's stuff on our website. What's your website? Let's

31:06  
tell Tracy and martina.com That's easy to read. The

31:09  
podcasts on there, the tour dates are on there. Our Instagram's on there. There's pictures of us on there. You

31:17  
guys have still, or

31:19  
yeah, okay, good. Because

31:20  
I know that there was some really.. I'm going on, yeah, same there. They had great merch last time I looked.

31:24  
You're gonna see me pop up, I'm getting a T-shirt, I'm not missing out. And do you sell those liquor buckets, or is that on there yet?

31:30  
No, that's just Scott's perm ice cream bucket. You can get them anywhere.

31:33  
Good point, you know. And I love your honesty, because you could make money on that.

31:37  
See, my head don't go there, like you're thinking money, money, money, right? My head's just not going there.

31:42  
I don't leave the door if I'm not making 20 grand. I don't even go out the front door. Seriously, that..

31:47  
wow, you are as a human.

31:50  
Yeah, yeah, just good hearted all the way. So that's the Alberta

31:54  
in you, Jann .

31:55  
It is. I had a little Italian in me once, too. Anyhow, and

32:02  
you know, and you know, I'm just teasing, you're right.

32:04  
Yes, God, I make that 30,000 Just, just make that 30,000 Don't even go out the front door without making 40,000 Listen, is there anything else that you'd like to share with us that we want? We want people to watch Crave, we want them to watch the movie. Tracy and Martina go out west and just like to be

32:22  
overall more famous and more connected with famous people.

32:25  
Okay, Dan Levy, I'm coming for you. I'm gonna take that heart, I'm gonna monetize that heart. It might have been a mistake, but no, he might have coughed, finger hit the heart,

32:35  
and yeah,

32:36  
was his finger, but I'm still

32:37  
gonna try. I right, doesn't hurt to try,

32:40  
doesn't hurt to try.

32:41  
Hey guys, one of your, one of your like most famous sayings, how did it come to be? Maybe leave us with that.

32:48  
Yeah,

32:49  
saving money, saving time to get loaded.

32:50  
Yeah, since our very first YouTube video, 12 years ago, we said we're going to show you how to save my saving money, saving time for getting loaded.

33:00  
So we've always been leaving people with lots of tips. We love giving people made

33:04  
of money.

33:06  
How did that come to be? Like, how did that saying

33:09  
just naturally came out of

33:11  
us?

33:11  
Yeah,

33:12  
natural performers got it.

33:13  
That's

33:15  
they don't have to think about stuff to do it. They just do it. That's what creative geniuses do, Sarah? They don't try, and they would be the first people to tell you that there's people that try, there's people that don't try. They don't try, that's it.

33:30  
You don't try,

33:31  
pretty much don't try to do nothing now. Taking her day by day, chance

33:35  
is happening to us, and it's fucking crazy.

33:38  
Couldn't happen to two more beautiful, talented, smart, funny women, and I am here at the show. We're your biggest goddamn fans. I don't care if your mother loves you. We love you so much.

33:52  
Say it again. We're taking the videos. Wait again. We

33:54  
are, we, me, the girls, we are your biggest goddamn fans ever. And we love you, and we think you guys are just the two greatest women in Canada, and you represent Canada in a way that nobody else can. You know, I'm

34:10  
putting that on the Cape run rate.

34:14  
Thank you.

34:14  
Feel free on

34:15  
video. We want to thank

34:17  
you for being on our podcast. We're going to promote the hell out of this. Maybe we can do a collab. Okay, yeah. I know you guys can share it, and people can watch this on YouTube as well. About a YouTube channel, not kidding you. And let's.. I'd like to take you girls for dinner sometime, and drinks are on me, something fancy. Like, do you guys have a Tony Roma?

34:39  
Get the wine bottles too.

34:41  
Yeah, you said you were giving us wine, too, Jann e.

34:43  
I will. I'm gonna send you some wine. I just need an address. I'm gonna send you a case. I'm sending a strawberry case that inspired wine. Okay, that don't bother me, Sarah. I don't think you have the disposition for expired wine. I think they do. It'd be nice if she could sign them to. Wounded, yeah. If you could sign,

35:01  
that would be awesome. Yeah,

35:02  
I'll sign them. I'll put extra lipstick on, and kiss the labels, because that'll be worth it.

35:06  
Wow,

35:07  
yeah. Listen, you got a ton of fans in Cape Breton, so we're going to be selling the what we don't drink.

35:13  
Yes, well, that's probably unlikely, though. Right? Really,

35:18  
the

35:18  
bottles will still go, though. The bottles will still go stick a candle

35:21  
in there. A lot of people are smashing old wine bottles or making mosaics. I don't know how you do it, but you can go on TikTok. Yeah, you'll find 1000 of those. Well, listen, I cannot thank you enough. Podcast, shooting the shit, don't miss that. All of this information is going to be.. I can't wait for the book. Y'all are going to write a book. I know we

35:39  
already did.

35:39  
Yeah, it does. What the fuck?

35:41  
See, I got.. where's my info? Where's my

35:43  
info? It's

35:44  
on Amazon, or

35:45  
what's it called?

35:47  
Tracy and Martina's guide to Cape Breton, living. Yeah,

35:52  
well, congratulations on that. And I'm sorry that I didn't know that. Well, now

35:56  
you do. Is it

35:57  
a pop up? No, but I got

36:00  
my breasts out in one of the photos,

36:02  
so

36:03  
I know you're into this.

36:04  
I am into that, but you know I'm off the market now, so I don't even look Martino, I look away and I run. I run from that kind of, that kind of stuff, that that ship people slide into Jann 's dinner all the time, and she just says no, and she just deletes it. Well, listen, if you guys want to come to the wedding, I'd love to see the two of you. I want to officially invite you.

36:32  
Wedding invites now to all this. Oh yeah, no,

36:37  
it's in August, and I'll send you the deets, because okay, what I'll do is I'll go bury something now, because it's free anyhow. All the liquor is going to be free, but I will go. I'll pop, he's going to turn somewhere, that'll be my omen to go dig here. I'll move a shit, and I will dig right there, and I will put.. what? What do you want in? I know where to get an ice cream bucket. What would you like in there? Just the rum

37:03  
white rum,

37:04  
just rum,

37:04  
white rum,

37:05  
white rum, cheapest kind of white rum. I'll consider it done. I'll send you the details. Love to see it the way it'd be great. And there's no plus ones, it's just the two of you, because it's a tight fit, as it is already. Like,

37:25  
okay, that sounds good. That's fine. Like, I invited

37:27  
Michael Buble, and he might bring 25 people. He doesn't go anywhere alone, so that's kind of fucking us over. That's kind of fucking us over for the guest list

37:35  
with his entourage.

37:37  
His entourage, that's 25 of my relatives that have to fuck right off, because

37:41  
tell them I love trying to keep, he did a good job with them,

37:44  
he did,

37:46  
they're nice, he did,

37:47  
he did well, I do, but I add sugar, I just, it's, you know, I find it just, it's too bubbly, and it's just, it's an essence, you're kind of like, is that a flavor, and so I just, I take 34567, spoons of sugar, and I put that meal,

38:05  
meal works,

38:06  
yeah, the meal drops, yeah,

38:08  
or neo citron wouldn't be nice in a, in a bubbly drink,

38:12  
there you go, anyway, we get

38:14  
you, we see, we can't say goodbye, we cannot say goodbye, so I'll just have

38:19  
your number,

38:20  
call me. Yes, you do. You fuck you. Do have my number. Yes, you do. I bet you, Trace didn't know that, but she didn't know that you had my number, and that we've been with full-time

38:29  
information.

38:31  
Give me her number

38:32  
too.

38:32  
I will try.

38:33  
Yeah, we love you. We are your biggest fans. Congratulations on everything that you got going on right now, from me and Caitlin and Sarah and everyone here at the Jann  Arden podcast, talking to Tracy and Martina. All the stuff's in the show notes. Too late,

38:46  
do.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai