Texts Gone Wrong, Artemis II & Kids House Rules

welcome to the jann Arden Podcast. I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted already it has taken we have been talking for 12 and a half minutes leading up to us hitting the record button on things that were not finished, stuff that I dropped the ball on, a random text that I sent to Arlene Dickinson that was meant for somebody completely different. I wanted to ask you guys, I'm here with Sarah Burke, Caitlin green, and this is Episode What? Episode What of season five. What is it

actually we're on season six. We are we're on season six. So there you go, not that you're keeping track or anything. And I think this week's episode, if I remember, is episode 17, no, 16. Episode 16 of season six. That's crazy. I know it is.

Holy shit. Well, I was gonna ask you, have you ever sent texts to people? You know, you're doing a thread and you're talking to somebody? Oh, I love this. And, and we all do it, you know, because we're switching from different platforms, some people are doing messenger on Facebook, some people are doing WhatsApp, some people are doing Telegram, some people are doing I message. I mean, there's so many, so we've got lots of conversations. I always forget who was I talking to? Maybe I was DMing them on Instagram. Takes me forever to find anyway wrong messages to the wrong person. I do it constantly.

I do it in like, the same kind of, like, harmless, funny way that you do, Jan, but I have friends who've done this in bad ways, where they've sent, like, a text where they were talking about someone to the person they were talking about. And doesn't that just make everyone who's hearing this breakout in a flop sweat, like, I think it's everywhere true, worst nightmare. Yeah, and I did once have, I once had a boss at a job I was working, like, a long, long time ago, send an email about me to me, and I it wasn't like terrible, but it was just sort of like, general thoughts. One point was, like, needs improvement. And I was like, you could have just said this to me at some point, because I, like, really had no idea. So we did, like, share a bit of a like, dark laugh about that, because I've never seen someone so anxious and upset in their life, like when he came in to talk to me, I just was, like, laughing. I was like, well, that clearly was a meant for me. And he was like, Oh, my God,

I have a boss related one too. Back in Sirius XM days, there was this like company program they would do, I think it's called, like, 360 meetings in some companies, but it's where, like, the top person in your department meets with the lowest people. Things are going okay, right? So it would normally come like, from HR, it would be like, Hey guys, if you get notes about this, this is what's happening your you know your VP or your director will be in touch about this, and then your boss would talk to you about it first, and be like, don't be weirded out when my boss comes to you, right? Like you would have a background about it. So this one time, my boss emailed my staff saying that he was taking it upon himself to do this type of meeting, saying we're going to be meeting without Sarah. I quit shortly after this occurred, for obvious reasons, but like, there was all sorts of crazy stuff going on at the end, and my staff was, like, forwarding it to me, being like, what's happening here? And didn't come from HR, like, That guy just decided he was doing it. So kind of funny. Okay, second thing, there's another podcast company. Shout out to ACast. We love ACast. So there's a Sarah in that company, and like, the director who I know and I've had meetings with for the Canadian team has, like, accidentally invited me to very top level meetings as a different Sarah, you should go here. Tell me what's up in your company, and I'll apply it to mine. No, I'm always like, think this was meant for your other Sarah, haha. It's happened like, three times.

No way. I have a group travel chat thing on WhatsApp, and we call it travel adventure. It's me, Theresa, Lisa Bev and now thortis is part of that. But before, before, like when I was first dating, you know, there was lots of descriptive things being sent back and forth.

How hot she is, yeah. Well,

just, you know, some love you this and that. But I sent a fairly descriptive message to the advent travel adventure group. Every one of them, within like, 20 seconds, I could see all these green dots going, there's four of us. Every one of them says, I think this was meant for thortis. And then there was like, hahaha, laugh emojis, at least

they're your best friends. Yeah, I mean.

And it wasn't like, you know, I want to see you nude on the bow of a ship. It was, it was just like, I love you. Blah, blah, blah. It was really kind of sweet and cute. But like, Poe. Critic, but and then, like Theresa would write, Love you too.

I won't fully air out the details of this that happened where on Patreon, we'll do it, yeah, we'll give her the full details. On Patreon only because I think I fear my in laws would like actually

careful someone might be in the Patreon with a fake email address,

just saying, just saying, That can't happen. Yeah, but that's happened to Kyle's parents, where they thought that they were sending romantic style text to each other and they were sending it into the family group chat with their kids. I want to know what the best all of us, just like, first of all, everyone's like, okay, barf. But second of all, you kind of feel like, after this long together, also kind of like, good for you, yes. Like, anytime we've told that story to friends is like a HAR hor, they're all kind of like, of the same mind, where they're like, good for you guys after this long together.

Okay, well, congratulations to them. I think it's wonderful to find those chapters later on in life. And you know, Damn the torpedoes, and don't care what anyone says, just pursue things. One last little note on this text gone wrong discussion, one of my favorite episodes on hacks, Hannah's character is high and loaded. She's in Vegas, and she hates, you know, literally, literally hates her boss at this point, and she leaves a voice note to her, I think, on her phone, just like, You horrible, like, literally leaves it out, goes to sleep, who's on a bender wakes up in the morning and then just her boss is very normal to her, like, does anyone recall this? I'm probably not doing this. I had anxiety. She was trying to figure out how she could get someone to get to the phone, to erase the message, and then she ends up seeing it anyway or something, but I literally had, like beads of sweat going because I have left in my drinking days, I left some questionable texts for people. I think now we can delete them right away, like if you send something right away, yes, you can do it on WhatsApp. You can delete for yourself. You can delete for the group. Why would anyone want

to delete for themselves just to feel better for themselves?

Like, well, I'd always ask you delete for yourself or delete for everyone. Like, I want to delete for fucking everyone. I don't want to see this again. Like, it's my nipple. It's my nipple. Anyway. Moving on, big story, big, big story of this past eight or nine days has been Artemis too, so I'll just let you guys make your comments for me. It was so hopeful. I cried many times during the process. I'm not sure how I feel about the billions and billions and billions of dollars spent on space exploration when we're in so much shit down here. But having said that, I would much rather see them spend the money on what just happened in the last two weeks, as opposed to the the bombs and the missiles that cost billions of dollars to draw upon innocent people. So you know when, when the bar is set that low, you're like, I don't mind seeing the money spent there. But thoughts, guys, I loved it. I just was uplifted. They seem like such a great team. Yeah, they did. Their message was one of collaboration, love, peace, looking down at a world that God, man, we can do better. And I think the globe felt it.

I think so too. And I've noted a lot of the comments that you kind of share, questioning the expense, you know, especially given everything that's always going on in the world, Couldn't there be other ways to spend the money? But I do really feel like, you know, scientific exploration aside the feeling of hope and positivity that everyone who engaged with this mission has felt. I mean, I was watching it was on a TV at a restaurant that I was at on Friday, and every single person had this was watching this live, and the whole restaurant erupted in applause when the when the capsule splashed down in the Pacific Ocean, and everyone around is talking about it, talking about, I know, and there's different generations there, obviously, right? So you're overhearing conversations about previous Moon exploration, moon landings. And I just thought it was such a nice change in dialog, in, like, the story that everyone in the world is paying attention to, not being Donald Trump, not being war about it. He hated it. Oh yeah. I mean, like, because it's just what's this he, you know, he's probably thinking, What's this doing for me? This isn't, this isn't pushing my agenda. This isn't pushing my profile any farther. But yeah, to your point, about like they felt like a real, real crew, a real team that had each other's backs. And, like, they kind of tried to give everyone that message back on Earth, like, you on earth, you're a crew, and you have to have each other's backs. And I also was like, if this doesn't make you very, very, like, acutely aware of the fact that this planet is special and we have to protect our only home in the known universe, then I don't know what will because it. I think it could, it could create an opportunity for a real, renewed sense of, you know, environmentalism and care for each other and compassion. So I loved it. I was like, Okay, I know we got other things to spend money on, but damn, this kind of felt good.

And the, I don't know if you read anything about Jeremy Hansen, the the Canadian, how he prepared for this mission, and he brought indigenous knowledge into this. I had read that, yeah. And so he had a patch too, which was, like, sort of his way to honor the mission. And his relationship with an elder, Dennis Jones, is the name like, he spent two decades working with this elder. And so when you put indigenous knowledge into practice, like, even for something as simple as, like forest fires, right? We're going into forest fire season again, and indigenous people have a way of preparing the land and being one with nature, so that when these things happen, it's treated as like we are all part of it, the collective part of it. And it's really cool that he used, you know, the spotlight, to say that this is how I prepared. I love that.

Yeah. I mean, that's that's invaluable, and I think it's very Canadian, but, but, you know, you talk about the hearts they were making, the story that broke out last week of one of the astronauts wives, that he lost Carol, and that they named one of the craters on the backside of the moon that we don't see, I don't know, just the way they spoke about the moon kind of broke my heart. So there was that creator named after Carol that will be there forever, forever, forever, and the love that he had for her. And then also the fact that there was lots of conversations going on about the moon being very female, which is related to such female things, whether it's menstrual cycles, the tides, you know, the sapphic nature of, you know, the the moon, but that she has, over millions of years, taken hits with her gravitational pull, which is why there's all those fucking craters and holes. You know, when things are heading towards our little blue paradise down here, she draws them in, and it hits her before it gets to us. All the stuff made me cry. I don't know what it is, but it was just them hugging each other over the the naming of the of the crater and and coming back to Earth. They were all teary eyed. They had their first press conference in in Texas somewhere, and they stood up and obviously gave their comments of what their first sort of observations were about being back on the planet. And everyone just comes back so dumbstruck by looking down at this place and and how wars are going on, and it seems gobsmackingly idiotic to be doing this to each other, and they all broke down.

When? Can you even recall a time where, you know, I think Olympics is something that does this to people, like, when people gather to watch something, sporting

activities. It used to be

like that. You know, when, when radio and TV first became a thing, right? People gathering around a device to watch or listen. But now, like, you know, there's a lot more isolated listening than there is group listening. So I think it's really special when we're all watching something at the same time, like that. And like you said,

the Olympics aside and sporting events aside, it does feel like those moments you can recall people gathering around to listen or watch something is typically around bad news or, like, you know, complicated news. And so this being really hopeful, like seeing the mission be a success, seeing this again, like being the first woman and person of color to leave lower earth orbit, and to see their camaraderie, the really nice thing they did, dedicating that creator on the moon to his late wife. All of it, I just was, I was so bowled over by like, oh my gosh, we have something positive to engage in. I saw, like, people all over threads being like, hey, NASA, got any more moon missions for us? Like, we could use another, like, dopamine hit, because we're back to dealing in news about, like, the Strait of Hormuz again in Lebanon. And we're just like, okay, like, can we get the moon back in here? So, yeah, I know. Again, I know it's expensive, but damn it, I love the moon. Well, I

think, yeah, I think it did us a lot of good. And I think we do Garner perspective from their observations of what it looked like and but there was some good things happening this week, I gotta say, not only Artemis two, the landing of that little, little, tiny nodule was fucking terrifying. The parachutes didn't look like they opened properly. There is some hilarious commentary from comedians on Instagram and Tiktok, of people showing the footage and talking about the the one parachutes kind of not filling with with air. And oh my god, it was. Anyway, the election in Hungary, so let's talk about that we had Victor Orban brought such a right wing anti gay, anti trans, anti migration. There was so many things going on with him. When thordis and I were on my she came with me on my work trip. Our first stop was in Budapest, and we were warned not to hold hands on the ship. Right? There was a notification that went out to everyone, you know, for all our LGBTQ travelers, or whoever's on here. Just be mindful, because there's people watching, and it's and we're just like, holy shit. And we held hands anyway, but the fact that you did, I've never had to think about that. But yeah, he it was a landslide, the Hungarian, or, you know, the people of Hungary just

went, and he's gone. It's unbelievably great news to see. I mean, because you think about he was a figure, that he was a mega favorite. He was a favorite of the Kremlin Putin loved this guy, and he had successfully, kind of consolidated a lot of power. And so for him to be ousted after 16 years, a lot of people thought that it wasn't possible, because he restructured the media to be in his favor. He enriched his his friends and family greatly, the corruption, widespread corruption in Hungary while he was there. I mean, doesn't this all sound very familiar, right? Not just, you know, something that was happening over there, but also over here, just south of us. So I think this was a big win for democracy. And I also think that having 80% of your population come out to vote is so powerful because you can't argue with it. You can't say this was this was stolen from me. This was rigged, like this was people going out, and the second that these results were announced, the young people of Hungary took to the damn streets. I mean, they are out there. They are thrilled, and it's great news for Ukraine, you know. I mean, if there's so much going on in the world that you can forget what's still happening in Ukraine and how they are really fighting for democracy and that, you know, the Ukrainian people and the Ukrainian army needs everyone's support, and Hungary held up. I think it was something like, was it 100 million or maybe even a billion dollar loan that the EU was slated to give to Ukraine to continue in their fight against Russia? And they held it up. Hungary held this up, and now, with him gone, it's expected to pass through so Ukraine could see a massive boost to their finances to help them with this, like ongoing attack that they're under. So I just was like, okay, yeah. Moon into this hell yeah, absolutely.

There's a by election in Toronto today, day of recording as well, with three different ridings, two in Ontario, one in Quebec. So yeah, be interesting.

Former guest on the pod, Chrystia Freeland, her seat is up for grabs, so

we'll see somebody else crossed the floor. So the Liberals are inching towards having government listen before we go any further. I want to know if Caitlin Green has anything for the scroll. Oh, I want to

talk about the amazing, positive news out of Coachella, dang it. I so they're calling it be bracelet. I don't know if you know anyone listening. Was a believer growing up, or if you had little believers in your life, but this was a very, very noteworthy, kind of groundbreaking, in some ways polarizing, Coachella headlining set from Justin Bieber. So some outlets are like, Oh, reviews are mixed. I'm seeing really positive reviews. But basically what he did was he sang without backup dancers, without any fancy outfits, no stage design, and he basically is, like, scrolling YouTube in real time. He's just doing this stripped down acoustic him only like live stream, live stream. And I found it very, very powerful. Yes, of course. Because another great thing about Coachella now is that YouTube does a live stream. So if you don't feel like going to use a porta potty in the California desert for a few days, you're paying 650 bucks for a ticket or going to the US too. So a lot of people were calling it bed cello as well, because they were like showing themselves watching it in bed. So I saw that the hashtag bed cell at points was trending, and I thought that was great. But yeah, so he did a really emotional performance. And I think for me, what struck me was that very similar to his stripped down performance at the Grammys, I get the sense that we are watching Justin Bieber sort of heal in real time. This is someone who was very victimized by his fame level. He was famous at such a young age, and he got started on YouTube. I mean, people discovered him there. And so this was

this really, drums, yeah, this

was this amazing full circle moment. And at one point he is singing alongside himself as a kid in the background, in his Oh, yeah, I saw that. And I was emotional watching this because, you know, he, he talks about how hard the industry was on him, and he hasn't ever been, like, fully transparent in the sense of, like, anything specific and really bad that happened to him. But I think a lot of his, like fans and industry insiders, think that some, like bad figures took advantage of him in any number of ways, and that he is now on the other side of that. You know, he he sold his catalog, so he's sort of done with that. A lot of people were wondering if his performance with a YouTube sort of backing was to avoid having to pay to anyone who owns that catalog. Now. So there were some questions about that. I'm not sure if that was part of it or not, but yeah, I guess watching him. Him perform alongside his child. Self was very I just thought it was it was really special. And watching him just sort of have fun, like the look on his face, someone turned this into a meme, and it's a shot of him taken from YouTube, and he just looks like Joy personified. His face is lit up. He's so excited to be talking to his fans. You know, his wife and his closest friends are in the audience, and everyone said me after I leave my toxic workplace, because they're talking about him like breaking free of fame, and the people who didn't like it were critiquing the fact that he, personally, without an agent, without a manager anymore, negotiated a $10 million payday to headline Coachella. And so a lot of people were like, oh Beyonce, when she took the stage, she goes all out. Other artists, they go all out. Sabrina Carpenter, who was also headlining, she goes all out. And he just shows up and kind of like, looks a bit regular and does this strip down performance, but demands a $10 million payday. That was the criticism sort of lobbed his way. I'll tell you, his fans, they loved it. They loved everything. Don't care. Yeah, they don't care. And the artist like the response from like, you know, he had Thames come out on stage with him. They have a really cool relationship. If you're not familiar with her as a recording artist, she's fantastic. But, you know, sizza Lizzo, everyone's chiming in just saying that this was groundbreaking. And this really was somebody who's like, at the height of owning their talent and owning their artistry. And good for him. There's a lot

of symbolism in that set, though, if you, if you look at him singing to with the younger version of himself, is that not like a pillar in self work. When you're in therapy, that you're you're talking to your younger self,

yes, this was inner

child work and being forgiving,

yes, and being forgiving. I mean, if you know stuff about his family, he had a really rough go with his family. So this is like, and now he's a dad, so he's, you know, reparenting himself like again. Anyone who's been through therapy saw it, and me was just like a mess, like I was a hot mess watching this. I loved it, but, yeah, so lots of and, but, I mean, Sabrina carpenter had an amazing set. Carol G had an amazing set. An indie band that I really love called geese. If you haven't listened to them yet, they're like, real young, cool rockers. They did a cover of his song, baby, in front of their crowd, and there was like a mosh pit to their version of baby. Like reviews of Coachella, actually, this time around have been great. And you know, you had chapel Rome there, bad bunny Adele was there, Katy Perry was there with Justin, I almost said Justin Timberlake with Justin Trudeau. Rumors about Jacob elordi and Kylie Jenner making out, like all the usual celebrity stuff that circles any one of the Coachella years, but I think the big story was, was Justin Bieber and Bieber Chella. And I'm actually, I'm quite excited to see what happens, because it's coming back again this weekend, because this this past one was weekend one. So that's the scroll you

Okay, guys, what's the weirdest house rule that you've ever had to adhere to? You know, I just remember always phoning my mom to see if I could stay for dinner. I know that at my friend Patty's house, we weren't allowed to go into the living room because everything was white. They had white carpeting, white furniture.

Oh yeah, that checks for mom and dad's actually

white piano, white railings, white paint. It was a white room, white draperies, and you literally could not set foot in that room. We stood there. Should have been like a velvet rope over the door, but we kind of looked in and it was never used. No one was ever in there. It just sat there like a shrine to what to loss and depression and sorrow. What my

parents, when they got a dog like, we were like, What about the White Room? Like, we didn't understand how it was gonna work. And you should see when, when Nellie, their dog, like, steps a few feet into the room, my dad, like, looks at her, like, and she just turns around sulking and leaves the room. So they still have, they've replaced the white couches now, but it's still, like, one of those rooms that's like, you don't let the dogs on the couch. There's the family room, the dogs can go on the couch.

Okay, yeah. So it's like, decorative, it's the sitting room, like the like the drawing room, sort of, yeah.

Well, we never used our front door ever, only the side back door. Like, if people came in the front door, I was like, What? What is happening here? Who are these people? What? What's going wrong? That was my parents house, too. Mom would say, go around to the side door, where all the fucking boots were in the laundry room. And, yeah, yeah, the pantry was back there. It just looked like, like, and there was an ironing board that was always out like it was crazy. We never used the front door. Okay, those are mine. How about you?

Caitlin, well, I mean, I can't think of too many that were at my house. I think my the lack of sort of formal rules in my house only highlighted how many rules there were in other people's houses. And so I always remember being a little bit taken aback when a friend's parents would correct you and say that they wanted to be exclusively referred to as Mr. Or Mrs. Whatever their surname was. And so usually I would start there, and then the parents would correct you and say, like, Oh no, you can call me Carol. Call me Carol, or Connie, or whatever. The parents who didn't do that. And then you'd hear, you know, either you. Or another friend refer to them as their first name, and they would say, well, that's actually Mrs. So and so I was like, Well, I don't want to come over here and play anymore because it was so formal. And I just, I remember the formal, like, the very formal households, I would like, very strict households were such a departure from my place that we just ended up being the Playhouse, like, I ended up being a lot of, like the we hosted a lot of the play dates. The one thing I remember doing wrong the first time, and this wasn't so much weird as just like, I didn't know about it, was when I broke kosher in my friend's kosher kitchen. Oh, I think I used, like, a dairy knife with meat or whatever, because they had different sets of plates and utensils. So I think I used a meat for dairy or some version of that. And I it was like, What are you doing? And I was like, using a knife. They were like, That's the dairy knife, yeah. And then I was like, but I'm Irish, Catholic. I don't know how

this works. As a Jewish person, the like, first, really, like, long term relationship I had that was, like, five years. This is the first guy from London. London when I went to like, Easter, because we're, like, fresh off of Easter right now, there was, like, the same grace, like, and I was like, what you want me to hold hands with this stranger, like, beside me? Like it was so new to me. And, like, my parents are very, like, casual with, like, boyfriend, girlfriend stuff. Even growing up, it was like, oh, you know, if so and so comes over, you have to ask the mom or the dad. But like, we were all at a cottage, and I wasn't allowed to sleep anywhere near my partner. I'm 2829 years old, and like, we're, like, texting across the room. You see the little light lighting up on the other side of the room from our phones because of the grandmother being very Catholic, Catholic, yeah, I think that's

yeah, sure. Catholics the people with 18 children, sure, sure.

We didn't tell his grandparents that we lived together, even though we lived together, yeah, yeah.

That would be super customary. I would feel like, for my grandmother, I don't think you would have told my grandmother that you were, like, living in sin. She wouldn't have been too pleased

about that. No, she was, she

was very, very like, both my grandparents on my dad's side were very Catholic, very involved in their church, and like, stuff was definitely hidden because you were like, this just isn't worth the trouble. But I saw that this was like, this was a topic that was going around. I can't forget, I forget if it was BuzzFeed or Reddit, but a bunch of people started like answering this question of the weirdest house rule that you had to follow up someone else.

At someone else's house. Send us a note, please.

Yeah, so send us yours. But someone wrote into this and said that if you slept over at this friend's house on a Saturday night, you had to go to church with the family on Sunday morning, which was held at a minimum security prison. So they had me and my friend in a prison church with a bunch of grown men as teen girls. Also, we were expected to share lunch after the service with the same prisoners. When my mom found out about it, I was never allowed to stay over on a Saturday night ever again. Yeah, you don't say my mom would have fought that family.

That's terrifying. I guess that would make sense. You know, you sleep over on a weekend and you're with the family, doing morning activities, which could be fucking anything, but, yeah, prison. Prison is good. This one Caitlin, no going to the bathroom after 9pm at this particular person's house. So come on, sleepovers were, like, horrifically scary, because you you know, if you drank a lot of pop or ate popcorn and stuff, you literally, after 9pm weren't allowed to use the bathrooms. Or, I don't know, I don't know how this is even possible, but that was the rule that this person is talking about at their house. That's a weird rule. That's sadistic. Hi. What are their little bladders? What is it? What is this civil? Anyone remember the movie civil with Sally Field underneath the piano holding her pee Jesus Christ not

being allowed to wash your hands in the kitchen sink. Is another one. No snacks in other rooms, only in the kitchen, not being allowed to chew gum in the house. Oh, I remember there was a family where the dad, he wouldn't say, like, you're not allowed to chew gum in the house, but if you chewed on gum around him, he would, like, kind of openly deride you be like You look like a cow chewing a cud or like whatever, like he just would, like, call out kids for chewing gum. I think that, like, yeah, this the very strict manners families kind of like, scared me, because I wasn't like that. Oh, someone said no, sitting on concrete because we'd get hemorrhoids.

My mom, my mom, swore by that okay? Because you'll just get a hemorrhoid. The muscle in your bum will will come through your anus, and you'll get a hemorrhoid from sitting on the concrete. She believed that, so I think that's an old wives tale, please. If your doctor write to us, yeah, and

let us know, because we've been avoiding concrete.

I love this one. Had to play music on a wind up music box while on the toilet, like you got to go in there. Didn't, didn't, didn't like to, like mask

the sound of you taking a poop.

I don't know.

Okay, this is kind of funny. One of my friends, he recently started a new job. This is unrelated to our sleepover topic, but he said that a lot of people at his office have Pooh shoes. Yeah, and so when they go into the stall, they change their shoes into a different pair of shoes, so that no one knows in an office, because no one knows it's so no one knows it's you. So say you're wearing a pair of like, white running shoes to work that day, and you don't want everyone to know if they're sat next to you while you're, like, going poop in the stall, you change into your like, poo shoes. I don't know what they would be, like Skechers diameters and like, walk into the bathroom, but I was like, won't people then eventually figure out what your poop shoes are? And then it's even weirder that you have a pair of shoes you only use to go number two, just sitting under your desk. Anyways, not a sleepover rule, but an office rule that I've never once heard before. Oh, God, but the

praying thing, there's quite a few things. Went over to my friend's house when I was younger and was forced to pray for exactly four minutes at a cross before doing anything.

Okay, that's mental health issues.

I'll tell you what old ex girlfriend Mormons had to pray all the time, and they had family prayer like you had to go in and kneel around the father, like this patriarchal, whole weird thing, and, and everyone was so into it. A lot of these kids have since left the church. I mean, I ended that relationship 20 years ago or something, but, or 15 years ago, I don't know it's a blur to me, but praying was the big thing. And, and I literally would do it like I would just go and, you know, you fold your arms, and you just put your head down, and I would just listen to this rambling of bullshit that was so steeped in the patriarchy, and it was so weird, you know, Heavenly Father This and heavenly father that I don't want To, you know, pray, pray to your heart's content. Seriously, but I think when you sit and you recite these things that you have no personal attachment to, when it's literally something that you would say over and over, like a repetitive, fucking junkie, you know, like a culty thing, you know, obviously it affected the kids, adversely, because, like I said, out of I think seven kids, four of them have left the church. Oh, wow, in a very loud exit, like not doing it anymore.

Were you saying that that was like a former Mormon girlfriend of yours?

Okay? No, they didn't know I was her girlfriend. But of course, of course, for a decade, for a decade, for

a decade, that seems like something from such a bygone era where it was like, Oh, grandma and her roommate, like, and you were, you know, looking back, you're like, this was not grandma's roommate.

They were close friends. They had a cat, okay,

Auntie June and her roommate and her cat.

What's something you're pretty sure that only you do. I like this question a lot. Caitlin had a so much. She has kind of a she's got so many, but I'm gonna let you lead off with this, because I don't, I have to think about this while you're answering, because I'm what's something you're pretty sure only you do, so something that you do, it's, yeah,

this was an amazing thread that I think it had just had like, 10s of 1000s of people replying on Reddit. And so someone said, and this, like, resonated for me and Sarah, I think this will for you too. They talk back to the annoying commercials on the radio. And I was like, Oh, you said Spence diamonds. Hello, Spence diamonds. That's literally the number one most complained about thing in radio is, like, the Spence diamonds. Wow. Like that little scream

that the person would do. I don't know if jann would know it. Do you know it? Jan, yes, yes. I Oh, you do okay. And like, if you're in southwestern Ontario, stobies Pizza what? I don't know, if any of you guys know the stobies Pizza

commercial, but I didn't know that one. But yeah, so like bad radio ads. People talking back to that in their cars. I kind of like it. Someone else said that when I'm nauseous or get grossed out by something, I think of a stock picture of strawberries to feel better. Not know. I mean, I think if I was feeling really nauseous or thought of something gross and I just imagined, like, clean, pristine strawberries, it might make me feel a little bit better.

I mean, they're like, the dirtiest fruit ever. But sure

this one, I thought jann would do this. Redditor commented, I missed my kitchen spiders web every few days so she can have a sip of water. I was like, Jan's gonna start doing this. When I read that, I have never seen a

spider web in my house. I've seen single strands that obviously a spider has dropped from the ceiling. I'm like, Well, I hope you're in here somewhere. I rescue them all the time because they drop into my bathtub. So I do get a little piece of paper, and if it's winter, I'm like, Dude, I can't

put she makes them a coffee

on the way. I do a little, tiny, teeny, teeny cup of coffee and a tiny grilled cheese. Yeah, but, but, yeah, no, I would, I would do that. You would do that.

Charlotte's Web, I watched with kids this weekend with Dan's kids.

Oh, cry, cry.

It was emotional. First of all, but, but. Second of all, like, this idea of like. Like, Oh, I'm scared of spiders. And then all of a sudden, them, like, understanding the character of the spider. I thought that was a really good experience

for them. Yeah, it's really nice. I mean, it's a nice way to, like, think about all the things in the world that are, like, smaller than you, because there's so many. It's very, very sweet. And children are naturally so caring. So if you can, like, get them to engage with nature that way at a young age, Will. And I, on this note, we were sitting in the park last week, and we watched Robins pull worms and grubs out of the ground at the park. I'm not kidding you, for 35 minutes straight, we just sat there watching it. And, you know, will had a lot of questions, like, what's happening to the worms? Are the worms okay? And I was like, well, they're kind of getting eaten, but it's part of, like, the circle of life, and the Robins have to live, and so you do get into like, these bigger conversations. I was just gonna say, What

do you say when they ask you about if the animals really talk? I did not know how to answer that one.

I always say, we don't know. So I always say, like, we don't we don't know because, like, I can't understand, you know, bird songs, but when you hear a bird singing, they're communicating with each other, and they're, they're singing their own little unique bird songs. And, you know, I'll say, you know, cats meowing and dogs barking like animals, and certainly like whales and stuff, they do communicate, but just like, we don't quite understand what it yet means, yeah,

because, and then there was questions about like, Stevie and Tina and like, and I was like, Yeah, Stevie talks to me all the time. I didn't know what to say. I just didn't want to ruin it, because of my Santa experience. So I went with it.

Yeah, yeah. Sometimes that we don't know is is not a bad way to go. The one thing I do do quite often, but I'm sure other people do this too. So this might not be the answer that you want when I go past someone, like, even when I'm traveling, like if I would be in Budapest or whatever, on a job, and I walk by someone on the street, or, you know, three young people talking and, you know, as they pass me going by, I think to myself, like a lot, I will never see them again. Oh, I will never, ever see these people again, that the people that just walk by me, those three souls, I will never see them again in my life. That was it. And I do that a lot. I got concerts. I have these kind of weird experiences when I'm with, you know, 1516, 18,000 people. I'll look out at a crowd, and I'll often, you know, think to myself, That's how many comments that I got on a video one time, and I'll actually visualize what 15,000 likes like in a group setting like that. I do it without even

really thinking about it. Do you find that it makes you feel any certain like, way, like does it make you feel like less anxious on stage, or do you feel like a deeper connection to them? Or is it just something that sort of pops out? I just think

that there's just social media has kind of tainted the way we think about numbers and how we generalize numbers, that every time you see a comment, this is a human being that is, you know, for the most part, thoughtful, but you just, I don't know, I look at crowds in a different way. Now, I'm always kind of going, God, that's what 18,000 likes looks like, or 15,000 likes look like. So it is a weird little glitch that I do. But the main thing is walking by people and thinking I will never see them again.

Well, I would argue that, like, kind of, like podcasting, or in any of these social media apps, what actually matters is the engagement and bringing them back for more. Well, it's true. And if you were kind to them, which which you always are, I bet you they came to find you somewhere.

Well, yeah, it's just funny, but I Caitlin, you put down you're pressing nails into my palm if I had to get a needle. Or do so show us

on YouTube. What you mean is it like this? You do this?

Yeah. So like, press. And I usually have, like, kind of, like, pointy nails, like, or like, longer nails, and so I can, I can feel them. And I started doing it. I had to have a lot of dental work as a kid, and, like, intensive dental work. And so I started doing it then, because my dentist actually tipped me off to the fact that when he would put a needle into someone for like freezing, he would wiggle it, and he said the wiggling sensation distracts your brain a little bit. It, like creates this, like alternate sensation to just the simple pinch of the needle, and that it can help offset your pain. And so now when at five to get a needle, or really, like anything I was anxious about, I would press my nails into my palm, not like making my hands bleed or anything over here, but just that, sort of like other signal to my brain will distract me a little bit and make it more bearable. And it's like, I kind of find it comforting. I don't know if it's like grounding or whatever, but I don't I mean, understandably, I have a lot of like PTSD around medical procedures, and so if I have to go in for like, an ultrasound for some reason, or, like, I do not like getting, no one likes getting their, like, you know, breast exams and stuff. But if I have to go in for like, a mammogram or rip to my palm, I just, like, press my nail right into my palm because I find it, like, nerve wracking.

Would be distracting. It would be distracting. Yeah, the other, the other thing that you wrote down here, I hope you don't. Mind me reading it. I used to head right to the freezer section of the grocery store as a kid because I loved the smell of freezer air. I think they changed the chemicals because the smell doesn't hit like it did in the 90s. But I even know from going to grab out like a frozen pizza or peas or something at Safeway. You open those freezers, and there's, I know what that freezer smell is, and freezer burn smell that reminds me of my parents. It was a chest freezer that was in the basement, and it always buzzed like as you went down the stairs, you could hear the freezer going, and there was a little red light on it that would flickered, basically, probably to tell you that there was power coming, but I would open that freezer to dig out something for my mom to throw in the crock pot. And there was a smell of a freezer. So when I read this, when you said this to me, I thought, Oh, my God, this is just we're weirdos.

And, yeah, mind it. These are strange things that I remember doing and just really liking. And I found it like calming. The smell of it was calming to me. My parents would be like, we'd go into, like, the old, like 90s value Mart in the beach, and I would run to the freezer section. They'd be like, there goes. Our daughter putting her head in the freezer section again. But I thought it smelled really clean and very, very refreshing and nice. And it's just always been, I don't know it's been something I enjoy.

I played with a neighbor kid that held on to his thumbs.

Okay? He held

on to his thumbs constantly, all the time, so his hands were never just like out like this, if you've got YouTube right now, he held on to his thumbs. It was like a comforting thing, but over time, he literally had changed the shape of his hand, like I remember when his if you ever saw the kid's hand straight, it was definitely just augmented by

placement, yeah. Oh, a little sweetheart. I bet it was like a self soothing mechanism, right? It was something.

And so imagine if you're so used to feeling that, that when you let it go, yes, it must have been very hard to acclimate to. You would tuck it back in again because it wouldn't feel right, I think. And I think about that kid to this day, one of

my little sweetheart, like friends growing up too. She used to shake her hands when she got really excited again. Apologies to everyone, not on YouTube, but she would do like, almost like a loose jazz hand to herself. And she was like, the sweetest little girl. Her name was Nicole Evans, and every time she got excited about something, and my parents just fell in love with her, because imagine seeing a little kid essentially wagging their tail, like, that's what it was. It was like, if something was excited, she would be like, yay. And like, would like, shake her little cute hands. And I just was like, oh, everything kids. I mean, we know that I have a weird thing with loving all children, but I

look back on that and I'm like, That's That's not weird.

It's the sweetest little thing to be like, I'm so excited, I'm gonna shake my hands.

It's so cute. The self soothing thing is interesting. Like, whatever kids need to self soothe. That could be a whole episode.

Oh, hell yeah, absolutely. And it's, it's what we naturally do to kind of regulate our, you know, anxiety, to regulate our nervous system. I'm going to read, we're going to say goodbye here pretty quickly and talk about what we're going to be discussing in Patreon. But I got such a kick out of these. So these are some other things that people said. What are some things you're pretty sure that you're the only person who does this. She said, I grabbed my boobs when I'm walking around looking for something I lost. It's like my brain says, At least I know where these are so and the other one and I can relate to this as well. Maybe you guys can't this person says, I memorize the license plate in front of me in case they commit a crime, and I have to report this.

Well, if someone's parked like an asshole, I am on it memorizing, taking a photo with my phone sometimes, yeah, yeah.

Well, I do this too. I do this. Yeah, I do the same thing. If I notice someone driving erratically at all, like, if I think you knew how you can tell when you're on the highway, if someone's highway, if someone's like, using their phone they're distracted driving, I will, like, quickly try to take a mental snapshot of their license plate to be like, if that person careens into the wrong lane right now, and like, hit someone I want to know. And I try to memorize people's faces or vehicles that are sort of like loitering around places with lots of kids, like, if I see a vehicle that sort of just like strikes me as potentially suspicious near a park, I have a I could give a full vehicle description to the police, like Caitlin has a database

that she hasn't shared with us yet.

I should have been a PI. I sit in my car and cut my split ends. I find it so soothing. I've done it for over an hour at a time before, and it's probably bordering on pathological. This one's a bit strange. I turn trash bags inside out, because it seems like to me that that would be stronger with the seams on the inside.

Never done that. That I've never thought of that. I've never, ever thought of that.

Yeah, and I do like this, and I have, I have done this. I'm gonna tell you right now. I have done this. I tell myself stories when I'm alone, as if there's another person listening, like, out loud, yeah, out loud. I'll talk. I'll say it out loud. I'll do it my car too. Yeah, once in a while I do, I do it.

If I'm trying to remember things, or to, like, tell myself that I've done it so I don't forget. So it's like, if I have to, like, remember to take my vitamins or whatever, I'll say out loud, if I'm alone, okay, you took your iron, and then I just, sort of, like, keep going. But if somebody was watching me, they'd be like, This person needs to go to the hospital,

because I do it a lot.

Okay? I sent that email. Okay, I did this thing, and I say it out loud, or I forget, I'll forget I'll forget that I did it. I think this is part of my undiagnosed add, yeah, but I just know, yeah,

no, it's good. Well, listen, I think we've learned a lot about each other. Today. We've got a little bit of housekeeping to do. May 5, we have a live event. Arlene Dickinson is going to be joining us. Arlene and I had a podcast together. Caitlin and Arlene and I worked together. This is like five years ago. It was called the business of life, and we had a ball doing it. Arlene is, of course, so busy. She's gone on to do so many things. She's on season 3570 of Dragon's Den. She's a very, very successful entrepreneur. She's got a YouTube series, yeah, about being alone, being single with Arlene, she travels extensively by herself. She does a lot of things by herself. She's a really positive person, and she's extremely successful. Lately, she has started writing these really great op ed pieces on sub stack, and it's well worth following her

on there. I'll link it in the show notes?

Yeah, they're really incredible pieces. She's a delightful writer. She makes sense. She's very fair. She expresses, you know, non partisan, like opinions. You'll you'll like it. And, yeah, there might be a few other surprises along the way. We don't know, but may 5, all the info to get tickets to that are in the show notes, so you can just click on that. And now, as always, we're going to take some time and see if we've got some voice notes.

Hi, Jen. It's Linda calling from Langley. BC, I look forward to the podcasts every weekend. I enjoy them so much. But April 11, the Patreon one I didn't seem to receive. I usually listen on Spotify, so I'm just wondering maybe there wasn't one this week, or I did hear the regular podcast, but I do belong to the Patreon one as well. Anyway, just wondering if maybe it didn't happen this week. Okay, thanks so much.

Bye. Bye. I was supposed to upload this before. I should have uploaded this before I left the city, and I didn't, so that I was trying to do it remotely, and it did not upload properly. So this is my fault. And then I thought it did. I didn't check back. I was like, Okay, well, this would have worked. I did it from a laptop now, no, it didn't work, so I did it so you'll see it's up. It is not a regular episode, Linda, but it is me solo, and I'm doing something that I've done before, where I run through all the books in my bedside table to try to get our only Jans, our Patreon subscribers to tell us what to read. But when jann started the episode and she's like, we're starting with technical glitches, things that were missed, I was like, me. This was my fault.

Me too. I buy me too.

I'm God, we're all I spilled out full coffee, almost on my laptop, but luckily only on the desk and the key right before we record,

it was just like, holy shit. Let's just hit record. Hope for the best. Okay. Anybody else? Sorry, Linda, sorry, sorry.

Linda, Hi jann and team. My name is Suzanne trip. I'm a musician from Medicine Hat, Alberta. I live in Montreal now, and I'm leaving this message with you today for two reasons. Part of it is that I would love to be a guest on your podcast. I'm working on a really cool project right now. I'm coming out with an EP this summer called Willow SAP, and it's featured centrally around a song that I wrote about my grandmother. The song is called Nancy May, and it is about how in 1964 my grandmother joined a target shooting competition against 79 men and won first place. And the following year, they changed the rules of the competition so that women could no longer enter. And I thought it was such a beautiful story. And my Nana is such an incredible woman, so I wrote her her tale into a bluegrass song, and then this spring, just two months ago, it went viral on Tiktok, and has had almost 2 million views at this point. And each time I post it since then, it's gone viral. So I'm just trying my best to take advantage of the momentum that my song is getting right now. And so I'm the second point. Of wanting to be interviewed is also that I am keep I have my feelers out trying to find donors to make small donations to my Kickstarter that will fund the completion of the EP that Nancy May is part of I recorded Nancy may myself, and it'll come out this month. So that's the biggest thing that I'm promoting right now, but it deserves a home on a record. So I'm doing my best to get that EP out this summer as well. So that's my pitch. My name is Suzanne trip. I'm also going to send some emails wherever I can find them, on your website, and I hope that you will consider having me. Thank you so much. You know what I'm gonna

do, Suzanne trip, I'm gonna have you on the podcast because you are a go getter, I think 2 million impressions on any social media platform is very impressive. And you know what? Sometimes, if you don't ask, you don't get so let's find a spot for you. We're going to dedicate 15 minutes to your story. We'll find a spot for you, Sarah and Caitlin, and I will figure it out, because I'd love to hear the story about your grandmother and and hopefully we can play a little clip of your song, but Sarah will be in touch. We will try and find and see if you've emailed us anywhere,

and our email here.

Cool. Okay, she's she's found you. There you go, folks, sometimes when you just try your luck, always, yeah, I'm not gonna say it always is gonna work, but I have a musical heart, and I love the story, and I think we'll see what we can do to help you. Thanks for Thanks for thinking of us. She was on it,

Patreon, Patreon. I love being a member of the Patreon club. For you, jann and Sarah and Caitlin, I feel like I'm a private member almost. I look forward to it every weekend. It is giving me actual pure joy. That I wrote about it in my graduate Gratitude Journal yesterday. And another thing that I wanted to share that I was so happy about yesterday, I took my son out, who doesn't like to leave the house very often. He's 18 and has a lot of mental health. He wanted to go for a drive, and during that drive, he asked if we could listen to your CD. So we put it on, and together, we just sang along and got lost in the moment. And it was a great, great memory that I'm going to carry forward him and both. My daughter just love listening to you, my daughter. I brought her to the Massey Hall concert last June. Oh, wow. The mixtape to her. Tell you something. I was in the front row singing, crying, enjoying the concert, and at the end of the concert, this beautiful lady walked by me with an older gentleman, and I said to my daughter, I said, Hey, she was on jann orders podcast. Let's follow her. She's probably going backstage. And my daughter said, Mom, you'll get kicked out. And I knew in my heart that that was someone that was going to see you, and it turns out that it is your beautiful fiance. You both are so adorable, and I just love seeing the chemistry and love between the two of you. Have a great week, everybody. Keep fighting for joy.

We will. Thank you so much, and how touching that your son went out and you guys wanted to listen to some music. Music is therapeutic. Thank you for that. And yay music.

Yay art. Hi, jann pod, this is Sarah, and I have some special guests with me. Indeed. Did you want to say Happy Easter to everybody? What did the bunny bring? The bunny bring candy? Okay, and then let me introduce Aspen

Easter and the Easter Bunny brought stuffies and chocolate.

What did you name your stuffy

hop, hop, hop, stop producing. I love she's like, and now, did you just hear it now in the background,

I did pretty good guys. I did the little baskets like you guys told me

to oh my gosh, that's just the sweetest thing in the whole world. I love a little kid's voice. I love how much they love holidays. And they named the buddy hop hop.

Well, thortis does like treasure hunts and clues, and it takes her a long time to write everything out, and the kids just go through the house, and they're one thing leads. It gets so complicated. And she had one for adults as well. And we were all just like, she goes, you guys can Google it like we needed to Google clues. Like, what does Lincoln Ding, ding, ding, this thought all these different things. What do they have in common? And then it was like a date. And then the date led to something else, and then eventually it was a tapestry hanging on a wall with a crocheted picture of a trifle pudding that her grandmother had done in like 1941 Like it was so complicated. I'm like, no one's can fucking get these clues, but they did work. Her son was figuring it out. Her 16 year old son was figuring stuff out anyway. We really had to work. We had to work hard for those chocolates. I'm still traumatized.

The best was when the question was asked about why the Easter Bunny came early. The Jewish Easter Bunny is a little bit more prompt. That's all, yeah. We tried to explain to them. We gave them matzah we we talked to them about a few different things that day. It was good.

That's good, yeah. This is look at us. Go. Sarah, so wild. I was in the hot pot. Thortis, mom and dad have a summer house, and we went up there for Easter, and we were in the hot pot. What's a hot water? The kids were playing, it's hot.

Oh, the hot tub. Oh, the hot tub. Okay. Oh, you call it a hot pot in there?

Got it? Yeah? And they literally fill it up on demand from water underground. That's how fucking hot it is. It doesn't sit there with chemicals in it like we do. Yeah, yeah, they fill it up. It's so hot that you're just like, very tentatively getting in anyway the kids are playing. Thorta says seven year old twins, Swan and levee. And anyway, he was shooting the water gun and it was hitting her head. And she was like, no, stop, stop. I was there, like, there was many, many stops, right? And he just kept doing it as you do. I mean, I fought with my brothers all the time and, and then then she just was like, No, we're done. And just a little quick, quick pinch right at the arm. And of course it was just like a little red mark there. And of course, I'm going, Well, you didn't mean to, because he ran into the house to tell I'm telling my mother now. And I'm like, Well, you probably should have, I never know what to say. I'm trying to figure out how to parent, right? And he ran in there, and I just looked at her, and I said, Well, you it. Things happen. He really should have stopped, like, I get it. And I said, You didn't really mean to do that. She's like, Oh yes, I did. I did as hard as I could. I wanted to send a message. She said to

me, like the mob, like a mobster, I want to send a message.

There was no, there was no, like, whoops. Didn't mean to I did. There was like, a steadfast determination of Oh no, and the way she said it, she's looking right in the eyes I meant to he needed to be sent a strong message. I'm like, for the family, I needed to send a message. And the message was, I'm gonna leave. You know, it was like, wow. It all turned out he came back into the pool, everyone apologized, like thortis is so good at saying, you know, that probably shouldn't happen, and that shouldn't have happened, but let's be friends. And so I'm just learning as I

go, I'm with you.

It's right. Well, that's our show for today, May 5. Get tickets. Go on the show notes, Patreon. We've got so many things to talk about. One of the things we're going to talk about is relationships starting on dating apps. And I like this. Caitlin sent this in, and they're talking about digital body language. Now I don't know what that means. Is it how you act, how you text screen, it's

texting habits, how digital body language and so how texting habits can make or break relationships. And I also want to talk about swag gaps in relationships. When you and your partner have a swag gap, we're going to leave

it there. Don't miss it. Thanks for listening. You can find us on all your favorite streamers, and of course, you can join Patreon, five bucks a month gets you extra content, and it

will be there this course, and it will be there

this week, $7 a month, you can be part of our book club, and we have a big zoom meeting, and everyone weighs in about the books, and we read all kinds of things. There's a new

book, and what is it when the game changes? Ivanka, osmek,

yeah, and it's another mother daughter going through some shit. So anyway, you can be part of that. Until then, we hope to see it the live event, and look after yourselves, and we will see you next time on The Jen Arden podcast, Caitlin green, Sarah Burke, this is us saying goodbye, totally. Do you.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai