Finding Microhappiness

0:07  
Jan, gracious. Good day. I am Jann Arden. Welcome to the Jann Arden podcast. You may see, if you're watching on YouTube, there's a blank, black screen where Sarah Burke is usually smiling at us from her Toronto home. Caitlin green is in her Toronto home. I am back from my worldwide world when traveling, I am actually in my own kitchen, as you can see, as per the background. But anyway, yeah, we're here, and there's lots of stuff going on. Caitlin, there's lots of stuff going on. Sarah is going to speak to us, Caitlin, perhaps I will let you interview Sarah. Let the people know why Sarah isn't on the screen and and of this a foreboding message to all of you people out there about a certain something that has been going around for many, many decades that is awful. So go ahead, Caitlin. Take it away,

1:01  
Sarah, do you have the black plague? Is that why your square is black? Did you kiss a rat? What's going on here?

1:09  
Caitlin actually pointed this out while we were on the phone this morning, which I hadn't even thought of. But remember last week, I was wearing my sunglasses, and I was like, Oh, my sinuses, yeah. So at that time, I didn't know it was wrong. But over a week ago, I had, like a really bad sneezing, crazy allergy. Day, I thought nothing of it. A day and a half later, a pain emerged over my left eye, and like a very pointed pain, like super annoying pain, I thought I was fine. I thought maybe a sinus infection. It lingered around. Went to a walk in clinic last Thursday, just in case. They gave me, you know, a nasal rinse protocol, and said, if that doesn't make it go away in three days, then go on these antibiotics. Yeah. So it got a little bit worse every day, and by Saturday, I had started the antibiotics, and my eye was, like, really swelling up, and like the pain, it's not like the headache pain, it was like neural pain, yeah, like my nerves were on fire. So I went to emerge reluctantly, because no one likes admitting they need to go to emerge, or waiting in eMERGE? Yeah. Oh, my God, you should have seen the bag I packed. I didn't know how long I was going to be there. I'm like, I need to have this cold cloth. I need to have snacks. I need to have everything with me anyway, yeah, so in eMERGE, it's actually quite serious. What I have, it's shingles, Jesus. But because it involves the eye, they sent me to a hospital that has like ophthalmology, so I was able to see an eye doctor. I was also telling Caitlin. I didn't know this, but, like I, by chance, stumbled on a link for a virtual emergency appointment. They have that in Ontario. Do they have that in Alberta? Let's hope they do, yeah. So I basically, like, got on this virtual call and a nurse talks to you before the doctor comes on. And the nurse was like, I'm not even letting you see the doctor go to emerge. And I was like, okay, and yeah, I've been on like, some crazy neural pain medication as well as the antiviral and I was quite nauseous, so they gave me something for that as well. Oh, are you on Zofran? I don't know what it's called. One is like, naxoprin one, naproxen, that's the one, yeah, and I'm on a GABA, something. GABA, GABA, hey, gabapentin, yeah, I'm on that one. That's the pain one for the neural pain.

3:40  
My dog was on Gabby Penton, but just, oh, carry on. So cute, but it is,

3:46  
yeah, whatever the antiviral is for. So anyway, all that to say, like, Guys, today is the first day that I feel like, I feel okay, like I'm definitely wearing sunglasses in my pajamas right now, people

3:59  
say it's worse than childbirth. People that I've talked to that have had shingles said it is the worst thing that has ever befallen them. And I'm like, what? There is a vaccine. Yeah. And so Sarah's dilemma has prompted me I'm gonna try and go Friday. We were recording this on a Tuesday, and I've got lots of traveling coming up as the two parter on the vaccine for shingles, so I have to get one shot, which is covered by Alberta healthcare, by the way, and then you wait two weeks and get the second shot. So I might do my covid shot at the same time and my flu shot, and they tell me, I can do all of it at the same time and still be standing

4:38  
Okay, yeah, but don't do it Friday. You have a live show.

4:43  
No, not Friday. Did I say Friday?

4:45  
You did? I was like, um,

4:48  
I'll do I'll do it, you know what? I'll do it Friday on the show. Yeah, do it on stage. It'll be, it'll be part of our on stage antics, and maybe someone from the audience can give me the jab. I don't know. We haven't thought it. Through yet. It seems like a weird contest, so let me think about it some more. But yeah, anyway, I'm in the next week, I'm going to be getting all those shots. So thank you, Sarah for this warning.

5:12  
So many people I know have had it like Kyle had it. The crazy thing is, Kyle had it when he was in university, really, really young. That's nuts. And it was so painful, like it was so the nerve pain was so severe. And then I had multiple family members have shingles after they had covid. I think there was a strain of covid that was going around, kind of like during the summer, Midpoint through the pandemic. And they all got it. They all got covid, and then a bunch of them got shingles afterwards, which was terrible. And then a lot of my my in laws friends have had it. And one of my in laws friends, actually, my mother in law's closest girlfriend had shingles, and because of the proximity to your eye and your ear, like you're right, Sarah, those are, those are two of the spots they really worry about, and it went to her inner ear and gave her Bell's palsy on one side of her face, because it's so like, obviously, it's nerve pain, it's nerve damage. So it really is no joke, and it at least in the like, my experiences of knowing people who had it, the recovery process really is contingent upon resting and taking care of yourself. Like, it's not like a linear necessarily, recovery.

6:22  
You don't want it get vaccinated if you can.

6:27  
It's no because it really is, like, it's nothing to it's nothing to scoff at. I know some people who've had, like, weird nerve things recently, like my husband had meningitis when he was a kid. A close friend of mine also just lucky to be alive, I know. And it's funny, because he's kind of a hypochondriac, and for a long time, you know, we sort of joked about it, and then we were in therapy together after we lost Sam, and wasn't like, couples therapy because we were having issues. We were just in therapy together talking about stuff, and his hypochondria stuff came up, and as we were talking about it, I was like, Do you think it could be related to the fact that you had meningitis when you were a kid? And he was like, I don't think so. And I was like, Well, what about your shingles when you were in your 20s? And our therapist, 20s? And our therapist was like, Hold on now. She's like, I think that's probably why you had a spinal tap when you were, like, eight. I think that's probably why you're a hypochondriac. So, yeah, he's had some stuff. And these things are, like, nerve stuff is, oh man. People listening right now, for sure, know someone or have had shingles themselves, and it's, it's rough.

7:18  
I'm not a hypochondriac. I think I have a pretty healthy take on my wellness. I kind of stay on top of things. I'm not a person that puts things off. But I also think, you know, as a young person, I had lots of heart things. As a teenager, yeah, and when you kind of have big things, the little things don't seem like I don't get colds that often. I, as you know, I didn't get covid. And people like, oh, you might have you just don't know it. I didn't get covid. I got the I got everything checked. I never had it. And I thought I did when I canceled the shows, the Christmas shows last year in December and I didn't have it. He's like, you have a chest cold. You have bronchitis. And I'm like, God, this feels so terrible. I thought for sure it was, but I look after myself for the most part. I could absolutely do better. I think I still need to work on my sleep a little bit and but as you get older, sleep patterns absolutely change. You don't sleep as much. You can't sleep in you wake up at four in the morning and you're like, I guess I'll just have tea and vacuum because I'm not going back to bed.

8:26  
Yeah, that's my that's the point of life my dad's at right now, where he's like, okay, I guess I'm up. I guess my day starts at 4am now, and it's just sort of like, is, there's no anyways, luckily, he's an early riser. He goes to the gym. That's his like, Mo, yeah, wakes up.

8:37  
So how are you doing sleeping? I'm good.

8:41  
I actually have become better in recent years than I was, I think before we had will, which is strange. I think I'm so tired at the end of the day from running around, and I'm so energetically depleted. I just, I just collapse in bed. And also, because of my years doing morning radio, I can nap like I'm an expert Napper at 1pm no matter where I am, if I had the ability, I would go down for about 30 to 40 minutes, and I would snuggle up and I would feel great. But, yeah, it's been we had sleep issues before. We had some insomnia before, and now I just don't really have it in the same way. And maybe it is, I think it'll change. I mean, we've had a sleep expert on our show, and she was the one who did sleep training for my son. And she has a lot of, you know, she has a lot of media and public appearances and stuff, and she has, she's actually got a podcast on the women in media Podcast Network, why am I not plugging this? Oh my gosh, Elena McGill, and she does a whole thing about the changes you go through, especially as a woman, around menopause, and how that can shift your sleep because it's so closely tied to your hormone shift? Yeah, I'm like, not looking forward to the menopause sleep disturbances.

9:47  
I think it really varies from person to person. We're certainly not going to get into menopause, because that will be like 10 months of discussions about what can happen to women. I think it's being far more recognized, though, by the medical community. I think family doctors. Yeah, and it's just being recognized more as an actual thing that is a real setback to women, you know, sleep, energy, your sexuality, you know it. There's just so many things that your your skin healing injuries, you know, obviously moods. So there's a whole stuff. Melissa Grillo, by the way, here's a little plug for her podcast. She does a whole thing on menopause, and I think she's also going to be offering at some point, you'll have to check on her website. Melissa grello, G, R, E, L, O. She's one of the hosts of the social she's, I think, going to be doing some like, retreat type stuff. I feel like it's in Italy. I'm not kidding you. I think it's something really special that she's working on.

10:42  
Oh yeah, aging powerfully with Melissa grello. Oh, that's amazing.

10:45  
Yeah, it's pretty cool what she's doing, because, you know, she just was addressing it so much herself. And then there's a whole other set of stuff, which is anxiety, low grade depression, drinking and menopause is a real issue, and what that does. So if you're in that boat anyway, there's lots of resources out there, but as far as looking after myself, I'm doing pretty good. 63 I feel like my energy is really good. And I knock on wood. I'm knocking on bamboo. I don't know if that counts. It does count, okay, and I feel really grateful. But I work out I just came up from the gym. I do like, 45 minutes of different cardio, whether it's a rowing machine or my bike or the tread climber that I hate, I'm doing more stretching. I need to get into yoga. Are you a yoga person?

11:29  
I am and I'm I'm a Pilate. I'm more Pilates than yoga. I like both. Pilates is a little bit more physically challenging for me when I've done it, but you will laugh. I was in Ottawa this weekend visiting some friends, my husband and I and will, and my girlfriend is trying to get into shape, and she's she's got a personal trainer. So she said, Do you want to come to a fitness class with me on Saturday morning? So I said, Okay, not in character for me to go away for the weekend and fit in the gym. But here we are. I went, and I had to leave the class. I had to leave. What happened? It was a hot hit class. So it was a hot, high intensity interval training, which is where they make the room very hot on purpose, so that everyone sweats. And the idea it started with hot yoga. It was supposed to help your muscle stretch. Anyways, I'm on medication that means I can't exercise in high temperatures. I didn't know was a hot class. I thought I was going to face plant on the floor. Jan, I was working out so hard. I was working out so hard in this class, dripping sweat. I was the color of an eggplant. I had to leave. I thought in a barf. I left after I made it through 40 minutes the class was an hour I left. It was good, considering what I was doing. If you saw the woman leading this class, Jan, I swear to you, she was, like, an A Viking Amazon woman. She was beautiful. She had like, like, white blonde hair, naturally tan skin, and she was built like a professional athlete. She was probably, like six feet tall, and she was just stunning. And I but when I saw her walk into the class and start leading us, I was like, I'm screwed, because this woman and I are on very different planes of fitness.

13:04  
This is a whole thing, these hot things, like the hot yoga, I've never heard of hot cardio and hitting like, every bell in my body goes off. Like, is that not the danger zone? You don't want to overheat yourself. Like, I'm really mindful even going into my hot tub, which is 102 degrees. I leave it there all year long. And I can do half an hour of not moving, like I'm not moving my legs. I'm not, you know, doing hard. I can't imagine being in there and going and up and down. Oh, let's move. I am still, and I'm, like, trying to get my upper body up out of the water so I can stay in longer to cool myself down. I know for a fact I couldn't do that. Yeah, I could not do your hot head. So did you What did you do to cool down? Like, you must have been so thirsty.

13:53  
Oh, yeah, I drank a ton of water. I sat outside on, like, what I called the shame bench, because it was obviously for people who, like, leave the classes. So I sat there at the shame bench, and I texted a photo of myself to, like, a couple of my group chats who I had told I was doing this. And they were like, Who are you going away for the weekend and then going to a fitness class? And I was like, here's how it went, guys. And they all like, co signed that they've heard people recently say that they're on various medications. And basically, the medication I'm on means that I don't cool myself down as well. So I sweat really easy. I break out into sweats really easily. Caitlin, I'm an idiot. I but I didn't know it was hot. I thought I was going into a regular temperature.

14:34  
Got there, seen what it was, and left and went and got a latte and a croissant. Okay, well, here's the thing,

14:40  
it wasn't hot when I got in the room. It gets hot as you're there, so I didn't walk in and hit like a wall of heat. So anyways, I am still sore today. I am hobbling around today. This was Saturday. I went to my restorative Pilates class yesterday, which is more low movement. It's supposed to help you with like, alignment. And you know. To give you better posture. It's not like a hit class. And I told our instructor what I had done, because she knows me. She was like, you're dumb. Why did you do this? She was like, Why did you go to a HIIT class?

15:12  
Anyways, I was just gonna add that I went to a Bikram yoga class once. Okay? Like I've been doing hot yoga for 20 years, like I can do sleep and I had to do the shame. Sit. Thank you. Okay. It was too much. It was too much. And they like, explained to you that it's like, disrespectful if you leave like these ones are like, so intense.

15:36  
Oh, shut up. Oh, come on. I'm blaming them for your shingles. I'm blaming those

15:42  
people for that was like 10 years ago. Okay,

15:45  
still it's possible. Well, no, I can't do hot anything. This

15:57  
is what's happening. And I know it's been a while and I haven't spoken about my Icelandic girlfriend yet, I think it's time. So when I'm in Iceland, you know, it's really fun. Culturally, there's lots of things that are very similar in the same but there's some things that are just unbelievably bizarre. Okay, so we've been going out five months. Believe it or not, we've been going out like five months. Wow. And so tortoise was just say, like, I thought, we do this and this, and you can get some of your work done, because we both work, like, I do work some stuff when I'm there, and she works on her stuff, and she's like, why don't we let go at five o'clock to well, we can pick one of the hot pools. There's, like, 10 Reykjavik city pools that are a combination of Russia, Finland and the Berlin Wall, after the wall, they kind of look very brutal, like you. You go in and you think you're going to see a woman, very large, woman with a whistle and a stick, like telling you what pool you can go in. Okay, but anyway, you get in your stuff, and the dressing rooms are really open, and women are in there. It's very it's just very free, like people aren't locking up their shit and their purses, and it's not that vibe. It's just like, yeah, there's my stuff there. I'll just leave it there anyway. Where my brother, you go into all these different hot pools, you just, she goes, Do you want to just go to the hot pool? And you don't do anything. There's just lots of hairy men and women in all shapes and sizes. And you just, some of these pools are like, 18 inches deep, and you just, you lay down, and your head's kind of on the edge. You lay there, you kind of maybe talk, you maybe not talk. And, you know, I'm just looking around going, this is what we're doing. She was, do you want to go try the 40 degree pool? I'm like, Okay, I don't last long. The reason I bring this up is because there are these hot pools. Oh yes. A lot of times it's like, salt water. Sometimes they truck the thermal water in from some station, and it comes in and it's saline, and it's really good for your skin. So we're doing this, like, three or four times in a week that I'm there and I said, do you actually do this? She goes, Yeah. People, just people, go to the hot pools. There's no no one's jumping or fucking, making stuff or running around or diving, or everyone is lying there just in the hot water. And we stay about 75 minutes. And she's like, are you good? I'm like, Yeah, I'm good. She goes, let's go get some food.

18:21  
Well, your skin is glowing. I mean, maybe it's the hot pools,

18:25  
but it's just that's what you do, is you go into these hot pools. And I have never been in a bathing suit, so much so my something has happened to me. I am just so in a bathing suit, wandering around in a bikini, no less. I bought two of them in London. I went to this bra shop that Nigel took me to. He says, Do you want to go to that bra shop with bras? So we went there before we went to Buckingham Palace, as you do, and we go in there, and it's so beautiful and and, you know, I bought two bikinis, and they're so well. The thing of it is, I'm just like, why didn't I do this 20 years ago? And it's not that I'm really hung up about my body or stuff like that, but I'm just like, wandering around here I am so it feels feels good, and my life feels very I'm really evolving. I feel like I'm actually learning about being a person. I don't want to get too esoteric here, but I'm learning about being myself. That's great. I thought, I thought I was myself and but it's an ongoing, ever turning, ever reaching, not static, process, and that has been a surprise to me.

19:38  
I think that's really nice, because it just sort of lets everyone, I guess, listening, know that, like, if there's things that you feel like you want to work on or unhappy with, it's just it's never too late to do something new, to try something new, and to be in a new space and go, Oh, I actually learned that I really, really like this. And this really works for me. A thing that I never would have imagined myself doing is very fulfilling in the following ways. And I. I just think it's great change is I love change. I think change is always kind of good, in my opinion, and because and sort of, like, movement begets movement. You know, doing something new means you try other new things. And it just like, opens up the world a little bit.

20:12  
And they say that that's the type of relationship that will always be the most fulfilling. It's someone who helps you evolve as a person, as they evolve, right? Like, the beauty in that, and that's really like in the past, when I've known like, oh, this person is not going to push me to evolve to my best, right? Yeah, I love this. For you, Jan,

20:33  
there's an easiness. She's that is, there's just an easiness that and a pace to which I have not experienced for quite some time. You know that slowness and maybe you guys have both been in periods in your life. Maybe you can speak to that where you don't know how fast you're going until

20:53  
you get the shingles, yeah,

20:54  
until you get the shingles, until you get the old shingles.

20:58  
But yeah, I would imagine, like even maybe Belle, because your mornings were so early, Caitlin, and oh yeah, you were juggling the baby and all this stuff. And then you kind of like, No, I I'm the universe is slowing me down. What do I do?

21:13  
Yeah, and you and it's different, right? You're like, Okay, I didn't think I would like to be slowed down against my will. I didn't think I would like to be sort of forced into the situation, and then you imagine going back, and you're like, I can't do that anymore. Like this part of it is actually quite nice. And I did notice that too, when I got together with with Kyle, that there was just sort of like this ease and things that I thought were important to me in relationships. I was like, that's not actually that important. Things I didn't think I valued. I found out I valued a lot, and really worked well for me. So there is, I love the slowness. I think that that is something that isn't really talked about as much. The Hustle culture has really taken over so many parts of our lives. And only recently Am I hearing more and more people in the mental health space, and, you know, podcasters and actors, actresses, whoever is in the public eye, say like actually resting and slowing down and being with someone who's energetically at that point is really nice and will probably make you have glowing skin. And I don't know I feel sometimes like, when I'm with certain people, I'm like, this type of person is going to extend my life, like this person is so calming for me, and I need that, that I think they're if I'm around people like this, I'm going to live

22:21  
longer friendships like that, for sure, for sure, right?

22:25  
But you're right that the effects that people have on us, you really start realizing, not only mentally, you know, just having a friend that really lifts you up, and you leave like a coffee and you're like, oh my god, that was such an interaction that I needed, because I just needed that positivity. Months and months ago, my doctor, Rohan, he just had me, if you're if you're watching on YouTube, I have this band here, and it is called a halo. It's H, a, l, o, I am not sponsored by Halo. It is a blood pressure band. I don't have high blood pressure. I'm not I don't have hypertension. But he said, Let's track you. Let's he said, It's $350 it's a little bit pricey. I know that, so it's just like I made that choice to get it for myself. There's an app, and it takes 160 measurements in a day. It's infrared, so the technology is different. It's not the cuff that you blow up. And when I'm around tortoise, my blood pressure is so much lower than it is in my normal life. Away from her, Oh my God, it's, and I Well, call it what you will. It's, it's what your your, how your brain works, and everything else. But she and I were talking about it last week because I had read an article that was kind of along those lines, and I had said to her, when I'm with you, my blood pressure is lower. And she was just like, really? I'm like, yeah. She goes, Well, we're regulating each other, yeah, we're like, regulating our immune systems. And she goes, That's just how it works. So you know, when you're with someone in a relationship that is difficult, and it's a lot of contention, and there's lots of issues and drama. You feel it, you know, you're up here, you do. And anyway, I it just was kind of acute that when I've taken my readings, when I'm at home, I'm around 129 over 74 which is not bad. 127, over, you know, 75 kind of in there, I waiver. I'm sort of 75% in the target rate that I should be in when I'm with tortoise, when I spend a week with her. I'm at 119, over 69 I'm at 121 over 72 like, it's just bizarre. Anyway, that's my cute little story about blood pressure, and I I'm, I'm mystified by it a little bit, but I'm not completely surprised. And maybe it is the hot water that I'm sitting in, no three times a fucking week in a Russian military base. I don't know where I am, but there's nothing decorative about these things, and it's really charming, like it wouldn't. Ever happen here? You would not see Canadian people, men of all ages. To see young men in their late teens and 20s going to a pool and doing something so wholesome with five of their buddies, no cat calls, no derogatory comments, no oogling, no fucking weirdness. They're sitting there with their buddies at a hot pool, and it's so hopeful to me to see them doing something that's super chill. There's no beer involved. There's no nothing in

25:32  
Toronto, at least there's a big and it's, I think it probably started in LA, but they're taking from the Nordic sort of like the springs, the water circuits. And women have been doing it here. And because there was a body blitz spa that's been doing this for a long time, but now, because cold plunging is so popular, there's other ships that's, like, huge, you know, you probably know Janica, Cynthia. Cynthia goes there, yeah, and I have a lot of friends who are huge. Other ship heads. They go all the time, and they love it, and they love the cold plunge into the hot pool, into the cold into the sauna. And one of my, one of my close friends, has recreated the same circuit at their their ski house in in Collingwood, so they go outside in the winter and do the same circuit. I've done it. They've had New Year's Eve parties. I've done it. I don't find it to be like some people really hate the cold plunge. I don't mind it. I've never felt like super different after, but we'll see. But there's a location opening literally at the bottom of my street, and all the people I know who love it. It's called altar. It's like another version of that. To your point about the guys going the biggest proponents of this in my life have been straight men who are going there with other straight men. A lot of them don't, some of them don't drink, but they've started on this, like, wellness journey, where they're, like, working out a lot, and they're trying to

26:46  
be more healthy, too. Men have to go on a wellness journey. Yeah.

26:51  
And I was like, I do. I was laughing, being like, oh, like the people who were telling me you should try this, we really like it. Blah, blah, blah. I was like, You are not the person who I expected to be doing this, because normally you're playing like beer league cocky, but they're really, you know, they're into it, so I don't know you're right. Maybe there is hope, Jan, maybe there's hope for us all in the hot springs, so to speak.

27:19  
When we brought up Cynthia just now. Cynthia loist is also one of the hosts of the social and she really does like other ship, and she said it's been life changing for her. You guys may remember that a few years ago, Cynthia went through a burnout, and it took her a long time to recognize the symptoms of that. It's interesting to bring that up because of kind of the direction that the podcast is taken today, that you know, we're just talking about the speed in which we live our lives, and then on top of that, we are inundated with a news cycle that we thought was unhinged two years ago, that has now escalated to the point where it really is a breaking point For so many people, both emotionally, politically, our humanness and how we view each other is in question every second of the day. It is it's scary. So what can you do? What can you do when you feel like this is so hopeless, you can slow down you must look after yourself. Because collectively, if you have a million people that make that choice to do other ship to, you know, go do hot yoga to, you know, take a meditation class, those things, I think collectively, are really going to be a huge part of the hope that we have, as a society, going forward, we have to find something and Caitlin, you make such a good point of straight cis males or whatever. Maybe the gay community, gay men have been doing that for a lot longer. When it's bath houses, say what you will about them. I'm not going into the you know, the morality of any of that, but you know, maybe gay men have been on that train for a lot longer than straight guys. Yeah. I mean, I would hang out and be with, like,

29:07  
where you are. Like, I find the culture in BC, for example. Like, you know, men and women have been doing the hot springs in BC, like, forever. Like, radium hot springs. It's like, you know, I've been there a few times, and I imagine it's like that in Iceland as well, right? Like some places, you just come up doing those things and grow up that way, really depends. But getting in nature such a big part of it, talking about calming yourself down, though. So I was having like, a really bad reaction to all the Advil I was taking in the antibiotics, and, like, I felt so nauseous, but also, like, just so not right. When I had gone back to emerge, and I had been practicing meditation as to the best I can over the last, like two months, a little more consistently than I would say I have before, and so I found myself sitting in a merge, like waiting to get triaged. And I'm like. Okay, one, 1000 Right? Like, I just was counting, and it actually helped so much. I thought I was going to take off and be out of my

30:08  
body. Counting is helpful, and sort of is an instructor in she does hypnotherapy. She also does something called havening. She does, Yep, she's a licensed she's, she's, she took me, actually, I got to see her office this trip. She goes, Do you want to see where I actually do a lot of work? So it's not just, you know, being an author and a speaker and a lecturer and about gender based violence and all that stuff, but she does havening, and she helps a lot of people with agoraphobia, and really, oh, it's, it's the stuff that she does. So I think she's trying not to overwhelm me and just slowly take me into the fold of what kind of work she actually does. But you talk about counting, and it's a tapping thing is very tactile, and there's a real art to it. And you can literally also regulate your immune system. And you know there's, they've been using it in Rwanda and places where there's been, you know, ethnic cleansing, and where people, young people, are witnessing horrendous things, and they're going in and they're don't, they don't exactly know why that this tapping stuff works, but they're using it with for millions of people, you know, like counting and finding that place to just let your brain grab on. There's something about tapping. Your brain can't process critical thought. It can't go through the process of doing all this stuff and and I'm not a doctor. I'm not a professional this. I'm just repeating what Thor has told me. You can't do that and do this tapping process, which taps your fingers, your arms, your chest, your chin, your lips, and it's just changing. So yeah, once again, little things. What can we do to change the world and to kind of we have to do something collectively, and that starts with the

31:53  
individual, the news cycle. And you know, for everyone knows the same news we're all living in the same news cycle, you know. So there's no shortage of horrors that exist the second you open your phone. And I do think it's that balance that people feel they need to strike between being informed but also taking care of yourself. And I was listening to Ezra Klein's podcast today, as I do very often, and he was really kind of centering in on the importance of realizing that we all have to like, we all have to live together. You know, everyone agree, disagree, whatever, everyone has to live together on this planet and any conversation right now on on social media, the way the algorithms work is designed to boost the engagement of just extreme views on either side and make people think that that's how everyone else out there is thinking. It's designed to make you very, very scared and to feel very, very anxious and to think that you probably have less in common with someone with opposing views to your own than you do. And also, he pointed out how much violence in the world leads to more violence. It just, it normalizes it, it antes it, up, up, up, up, up, everywhere you go, from conflict to school shootings to, you know, violence in the home, you name it, a more violent world is like, not good for anyone, and it just feels so crummy out there. And I really do think that things like havening or things like like you said, Sarah meditation, certainly, a lot of people have talked about the value of transcendental meditation or Reiki or yoga or whatever it is for you, everyone really has to, like, acknowledge that this is a very challenging timeline to live in, and the algorithm is coming for your sanity. So if you want to coexist with your neighbors in any functioning way, like, you gotta just go, okay, like, find a way to, like, take a deep breath and sort of, and sort of regulate your emotions a little bit better than maybe you are because of the phone.

33:45  
I'm so glad to see that episode as an hour and 55 minutes. I'm going to listen to it later today, because all I do is lie down. Yeah.

33:53  
Well, and for those of you listening that think, Oh, that's a bit too esoteric for me. You're a bit too new age, and I am not a meditation person. Listen, there's things in your everyday life that mirror all those things, and it's as simple as the ritual of stopping at 11 o'clock in the morning to make a cup of tea, to put the kettle on, to grab your favorite mug. I have a favorite spoon that sounds really little, but I always wash it. I do. I have a favorite spoon, and I think, you know, we make kind of fun of little things like that, but I'm telling you, it is the minutia. It's these micro happinesses that really somehow they collaborate and they speak to each other. And I have a favorite mug too, and if I have that spoon in the mug, I feel better if I don't have my mug. I'm like, I'm gonna take it out of the dishwasher and I'm gonna wash it anyway. I'm going into a whole other realm here. But yeah, so you don't have to go to Pilates. You don't have to hop in your car and go to other ship, the ritual of home, of stopping and take 35 minutes, take. 45 minutes, find a beam of sunlight in your apartment. Find, I don't care if it's sitting on an unmade bed and propping your pillows up under your arms. Take a second and find kitten videos that you like, or, you know, children having accidents is always fun.

35:19  
Can I tell you my new weird video that? Because I like, Okay, so just I will own it. I watch weird things on YouTube to relax, and I do take that time. But this is what I mean. Micro happiness is, yeah, my micro happiness is a new thing I've discovered called it's a woman named Yvonne La Fleur, and she is this very elegant older woman in New Orleans who runs a boutique down there called Yvonne La Fleur, and she's been around for ages, and she is what she's a category called unintentional ASMR. So she just does videos where she talks about styling women and how to dress for your body type, and she showcases all the merchandise in the store. She has become a viral sensation on Tiktok and all of her social media because of how calming and soothing she is, and because of her kind of old world attitude to elegance and fashion and people longing for that sort of like motherly presence, I suppose, grandmotherly presence, whoever, however, that shows up for you. Like it's so relaxing to watch her just guide you through her case of gloves, or talk to you about what kind of hat you might want to wear. Like it's so therapeutic. And so I'm like, I give myself 20 minutes of evil on the floor a day right now, I loving it. I love it. I like want to go to I want to go to New Orleans to go see her store. And now people on Tiktok, tiktokers are going as like, a pilgrimage to New Orleans to go to her store and meet her. And she just loves it. She loves all of her customers, and she has someone younger and like hipper doing her social media. And it's just so cool to see people like discover this really neat store.

36:54  
We are going to put Yvonne Lafleur in the show notes so that you can find her too. We're completely changing the topic. Let's do 180 because I'm very curious about Justin Trudeau and Katy Perry. So this is kind of a new thing. Now, I just stumbled across this maybe 10 days ago, and I thought, Oh, is this? Is this just like a stunt, or did someone just snap a picture of them somewhere? So walk me through. Is this an actual thing? Like, are they getting naked together? Or what is happening?

37:21  
I I think they might have seen each other in some Nude Yoga poses like I think there might be something going on here. So essentially, they were spotted together on what everyone thought was a date. This was in the during the summer, and obviously, both are single. She's single, he's single. Then he was seen at her concert. And then some people thought, okay, there's actually nothing going on here. Maybe they met to just talk about talk about something for work, like, who knows? Then the story goes away. Now, apparently they're still seeing each other. They weren't comfortable with the focus on the relationship that happened so quickly, so they pulled away, left the public eye. They're now said to be exploring the relationship out of the public eye. They've decided to be much more private about it, but they're still speaking, still very interested in each other, and that there is apparently a plan to meet up when Katie has a short break between the European leg of her tour and then South America. So everyone's sort of like on the paparazzi hunt to see if they'll be spotted together. But I'm fascinated by this pairing, to see a former Prime Minister of Canada, baby of pop star like it's very unusual.

38:28  
Who knows how these things work? Attraction is wildly unpredictable, wildly unpredictable, wildly unpredictable. And you know the things that you you think you know about yourself? I mean, I'm sure Katy Perry is as surprised as Justin Trudeau is surprised. I'm, you know, that they actually like each other. And it's sort of settling into that, you know, you go home after meeting somebody and having a drink or whatever, or a short interaction, and you're just like, do I feel something in my body? And I think it's, I think it's nice. I think it's nice for both of them.

39:02  
She must be going home of being like, what am I like? This is Justin Trudeau, what the heck. And he must be going home going like, this is Katy Perry. What is going on?

39:11  
Like? Well, Liam Neeson and Pamela Anderson.

39:15  
Okay, someone told me that that was fake, and I wanted to believe it was real, but I don't know. I don't think I'm up to speed on the timeline of this relationship, but there was a whole article in the cut about how they weren't actually dating, and this was like a PR front because they were promoting their lethal weapon movie together. But then she denied it. She said they were really together. So I don't know where that landed, but I loved them together, and I don't think either one of them, even if they were who knows what status would have been, thinking this is the strange thing ever, like Pamela Anderson and Liam Neeson, but who knows, like, whatever stage of life they're at, maybe that makes sense all of a sudden. Yeah, he's not. Tommy Lee,

39:53  
no, and that's good. That's a good thing that he's not. It really is a good thing. I'm happy for her. Her. She seems to have had that second act in her life, that it just seems like she's okay, that she's doing all right, and that the hard stuff is over, and her boys are grown up, and they seem like really nice guys. Her sons, they seem like good kids. You know, they're involved in her television shows. I'm sorry when someone's making homemade lemonade and cooking biscuits, I'm like, you're out of the darkness now you've actually embraced something that is calming you, and you're finding your feet, and you're living on the island somewhere, and on the West Coast, there's just so many things that we realize, sometimes far too late, that, Oh God, why didn't I do this 20 years ago? But that's not how life works. You get there when you get there. A final note on today's podcast, we lost one of, really the last 60 year, great actors of our time, and that's Robert Redford. So we're recording this Tuesday, September the 16th. And Robert Redford was 89 years old, and you would have seen him in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid was a huge movie for him, the way we were with Streisand, which is one of the all time classic heartbreaking romance stories. And of course, accompanied by Barbra Streisand, one of her biggest songs of all time, was just the way we were. But Robert Redford, like he made red hair the sexiest thing ever. I think, I think ginger colored men everywhere were cheering all through the 60s, 70s and 80s, because of Robert Redford.

41:24  
Oh, yeah. And, I mean, you think about the fact that he was sort of, he was trying to fight against this type cast of his looks for so long,

41:31  
I think I just had some kind of confidence that I was somebody of some kind, you know, some something was going to happen. That's all. I had no idea what it would be. I just had that cause. And I think there had been enough times in my life that were in rebellion, where I was constantly going against forces who tried to convince me that I was either dumb or bad or wrong, and I had to fight them. And in doing that, you gain a kind of strength about your own convictions.

41:54  
And he was a real advocate for thoughtful filmmaking and cinema, because, of course, he, you know, he launched the Sundance Film Festival, and I was reading through all these quotes about him and Jane Fonda, who has been with him in movies before, she said every time she was in a movie, she fell in love with him because she said he had just had this aura about him that he was, you know, kind of mysterious, and just this, this like presence and this pull, and that's just he, he does come across That way when he's like in all of his films. I loved him so much in All the President's Men about the Watergate scandal, I just thought he was so good in that. And I just remember, like, it's weird when you when you hear about someone pass away, and he's 89 years old, but like, in my mind, he's never 89 years old. You know, he's he, in my mind, he's young forever. And that's sort of, that's the way celebrities work

42:41  
the horse whisperer, yeah,

42:45  
oh god. He's just, he's so and he was, he was really just, I mean, not to harp on about his looks, but he was so

42:50  
good looking, yeah, and he didn't, he didn't play to that like he really hated typecasting, and, you know that leading man mentality. And I think, anyways, it's sad to see those guys go, because, as we all know, they don't make them like they used to no and there's a group of individuals that are definitely in their 80s, Jane Fonda being, you know, the aforementioned Jane is 86 or 87 or something, and it's going to be a huge loss to the world. You know, when she goes, I hope that she's around for another 10 years, because she's still so vibrant and she's such an advocate. And, you know, she's out there, fist in the air still. You know, provoking the patriarchy, and, you know, trying to speak to war and injustice all of all kinds.

43:30  
And we found out that Robert Munch this week is going to have, he's looking into maid because he's suffering from dementia. So Robert Munch, beloved children's author who I just have spent so many hours of my life reading. And a great Canadian, obviously, that, you know, he said he wants to make this decision while he still can, because he's he's very aware of how his dementia prognosis is looking. So that also broke this week. And I just was like, You know what? Too many good ones like. It's just, I know people are getting older and time passes, but it does. It kind of does my head in. So if you're a Robert Munch fan like myself, I'm actually reading Robert Munch to will, and I'm reading the exact same Robert Munch books I had as a kid. I found them when I was cleaning out my mom's house, and I saved all of them. So he is literally holding Robert Munch books that I grew up reading. And there's still stickers in there that I put in, and they're still, like, on the front of the book, it says, like, this is, you know, this book belongs to Caitlin or Katie, and it's my handwriting. And he's like, where's this book from? And I say this is mum when she was a little girl. So that's kind of like, the magic and the power of being a children's author or doing anything in the space of children is like, you can just, you can live on through everyone's generations.

44:38  
Well, it's been a nice conversation today I didn't expect to, kind of I have I'm sitting looking at a whole bunch of questions in front of me that we never got to. But it often happens when the three of us are together without a guest, and there's lots going on. But yeah, well, summer's winding down, once again, it's not going to be of any value. Well, maybe if you hear this on Friday, we're doing a live show. Now on the 19th at the National Music Center. If this is posted in the afternoon, which it often is, you may not. You may hear this voice coming at you and check to see if there's still a seat or two. Come down to the National Music Center if you're in Calgary. Nehad Nenshi is going to be our guest, and there's lots of things to speak to, not only in Alberta, but he's been doing all kinds of consulting all over the world for all these different projects. I don't know if he's allowed to speak about them, but you know, yeah, he's an interesting man. He's a smart man. He's extremely funny. So, and when he was very young, he came to see me somewhere in Boston or something, and I signed the back of his driver's license. I love that. So yeah, he and there's a picture of us all looking like we were 14. So it's very cute.

45:43  
Well, it's your point about, you know, the weird timeline we're living in. What I like about him so much is that he is a, I think he's a really important type of voice to have right now in the world of politics, because he's hopeful and he's intelligent any solution oriented. So I think he'll be, he'll be a fabulous guest.

45:59  
Yeah, absolutely. But it's a beautiful space. If you've not been to the National Music Center, it's a work of art.

46:06  
What's your promo code? Again? Do you remember your

46:08  
promo code? I think it's, what is it? What's my promo code?

46:12  
Jan, super bitch. Is that what it was? Jan, SP,

46:15  
Jan, SP, Jan, SP, Sarah's initials, but they

46:21  
just, like, assigned it last minute. I was like, we're recording, if we want to tell people, like, we're recording in an hour, if we want to tell people to come to the National Music Center and, like, go check out the history in there outside of our show. And they just threw us this promo code. And I'm like, I didn't ask to be a part

46:40  
bitch jazz super bitch. Get 10% off. Come on down

46:46  
all the info in the show notes.

46:48  
Thanks for listening. Come and join us on Patreon. Our book of the month is called H is for Hawk and Helen McDonald wrote that book. We'll be talking about that in the next three or four weeks. We do a big zoom call that is, that is another tier on our Patreon that's $7 but you have chances to win, like Indigo gift cards and and talk about the book and we always have a great time doing those, those get togethers for the book club, or, you know, five bucks a month, which is less than you know. What can you get for

47:17  
$5 these days? $5 is the new $1 with inflation.

47:21  
$5 is the new $1 they're still talking about a $5 coin, which I'm completely opposed to. I don't want more coins, please. Who's ever listening at the Canadian Mint? We do not want a $5 coin. No. How big are they going to be? As big as crazy people. Stop. Just stop. Right now. Not the right one anyway. Look after yourselves, and thanks for coming along on this crazy journey. I'm always proud of the girls. Caitlin green, Sarah Burke, hope Sarah gets better, and hopefully there might be a Christmas miracle. As it stands right now, I don't know if Sarah will be with us at this most important and I know you were so looking forward to it, Sarah, but let's see how you feel tomorrow and but we're going to make the call at some point. I don't need shingles. I love you, Sarah, but I don't need the shingle.

48:04  
It's 100 days till Christmas as of just recording so a Christmas miracle may yet be upon us, but perhaps not quite right now. Okay.

48:15  
Well, having said that, we will see you next time. Look after yourselves and totally do you i.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai